Destruction
by druglordhoney
Summary: He's a popular player, she's the damsel in distress who's made him change and fall in love. Too bad a reform isn't enough to get the girl and save her from her self-destruction. A story on secrets, trust, all sorts of love, hope, hurt, loss and the big teenage cliche: boy meets girl. Canon, All Human.
1. Golden

**Destruction**

Chapter 1- Golden

Forks High, Junior Year, Biology Class, Room 3B, there was something out of the ordinary today. Biology class was less tedious today because I had a new eye-candy. She was the new girl in school, and I was the school's star baseball player, both of us would be golden. The best part? She'd be easy.

Girls naturally fell at my charm, but I didn't go for girls who had nothing to offer. I messed with the ones who had something in their reputation to offer, just to make sure I maintain my douche bag status. Tanya, Leah, Jessica and Lauren have been the only girls I dated or fucked around with. Tanya is the head cheerleader of that skanky squad. She gives me a B-l-o-w-j-o-b! Leah was the chairman of the Drama Club (she reminded me of that stuck up singer in Glee) she was a snub, a rich kid, she thought she was so perfect that the only guy she allows to touch her was me, so everyone thought she was hard to get, and special when she was just an easy lay. She was in over her head, but hey, she was hot and popular. I used Jessica to even worsen my status, either to make me more infamous or to get me out of trouble, because she was the school's gossiping queen and her mother was the town's queen of gossip. Lastly, Lauren for her body, she was every man's dream of an arm candy and luckily, she was mine every time I wanted.

With all these girls, I was invincible. Now, I could land any girl in school, and Forks High didn't have a shortage on sluts, but like I said I only chose those who had something in return for me. Girls were part of the power equation. But I'm not a complete airhead. You see, a girl loses her value once she gives it away to any boy. A boy gains his value when he commits to only stick to one girl. Only 2 girls in the school had value to me. Mary Alice Brandon- Cullen and Rosalie Hale.

Those 2 girls were as good as gold; they took care of themselves and knew their worth. They didn't just let anyone get their goods. Rosalie had a snarky, bitchy exterior and it kept losers away. She had Emmett wrapped around her manicured fingers, and with her stare, he was pussy. Emmett McCartney played Baseball with me, played girls with me and breaks rules with me. But when he met Rosalie last year at a Drag Race tournament, he was done for. She kept him on a tight leash, but he loved every moment of it, he said Rosalie is 'more than enough, and she's better than perfect'.

Alice is my adopted sister, and I love her with all that I am. Her family was our old neighbor back when we lived in Chicago. When I was 8, and she was 7, her parents took an emergency trip to New York City because of a fraud in the Stock Market. Alice took it as just another business meeting- she didn't have any idea what was happening behind her back. Her dad was found out to have stolen money to buy shares and since the money he used was not legit, all the shares he and her mom had, had to be returned to the company. In a span of 4 days, all the money in the Brandon's bank account went away. No relative of theirs bothered helping them because they were now considered 'poor'. Little Alice started wondering why the cars started being taken away, why the household help started leaving, why her personal nanny left her when her parents weren't home yet. During the trip, Mr. and Mrs. Brandon had called and asked if Carlisle and Esme could look after Alice for just 3 days, and then Alice wondered why she couldn't enter her old home anymore, and why a new family lived there instead. On the eve of the arrival of her parents, we promised that Alice would know everything, but something went out of plan.

The Brandon's plane never arrived. No one survived the crash. And the Cullen and Brandon family lawyer came to a mutual agreement that Alice must be adopted by the closest relative- no one wanted to, because Alice's trust fund had '0' in it, and Esme felt pity and sadness over a confused and sad 7 year old girl. Alice became a Cullen, and has been my sister ever since.

Imagine the mini heart attack I had when Jasper asked for my permission when he 'fell in love' for my sister. Alice begged me and I wanted to see her happy, I told Jasper to go ahead in exchange, if she sheds even one tear for him, I break one bone. So if she cries, he dies. Jasper was a fuck up just like me and Emmett. But I've seen love's effect on Emmett and I knew Jasper would change, too. Jasper did. When the girl is the one for you, she'd set you straight, sadly- no girl has set me straight yet. Jasper and Emmett were good guys, but they became great people when they met the girls.

Emmett, Jasper and I used to be the 3 messed up, daft kings of the school. Fuck yeah, we knew that. In every aspect possible- sex experience, girls, looks, brains, brawn, talent, money, - it was the ultimate Power Equation of High School. But now, Emmett and Jasper weren't daft kings anymore, but they still had power since they hooked up with the golden girls of the school.

"Class, we have a new student today… would you care to introduce yourself, Miss?" Miss stood up next to me and looked chagrinned at the spotlight- not that kind of girl, then, eh?

"Uhm… My name is Isabella Swan… but it's… ju-just Bella?" she stuttered as if she wasn't sure of her own name. The few dickheads and whores in class chuckled at her introduction.

"Mr. Cullen, I expect you to be on your best behavior as her laboratory partner- and Edward, I mean… don't ruin things up." Mr. Banner gave me the stink eye which I'm sure is just his way of saying he's in love with me but doesn't want me to be in love with something else. HA! "Yes Mr. Banner, don't forget, I'll still give you my full attention." I chuckled and blew him a kiss. The class laughed out loud and he turned his back on me, probably blaming his period for his obvious jealousy.

Not that anyone had to be jealous of anything at all, Bella Swan didn't even give me a second glance.

I didn't have new girl in any of my next classes and lunch rolled by quickly, if it were any normal day (which it's not) I would go straight to Building 2, take out my cigarettes and lighter and huff my thoughts away to the clouds, but today wasn't any normal day. I stayed with Alice, Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper and some of the other baseball guys at the golden table. Alice cocked her eyebrow at me and smiled wildly, it was a good day if I was around- her words, not mine. Alice has always been a sweet sister, and I had always been a calloused boy- after I reached puberty. I think she and Jasper connected really well because he was always there to chastise me and talk some sense in my senseless head. While Emmett was always there as well, he was more of the, how-to-get-the-girl type of best friend and not how-to-fix-your-life one. Alice really cared about me, but I wasn't in any condition to turn pussy- not for my adoptive sister. She knew I loved her anyway.

I stared at my apple and wondered why I had joined them for lunch today, then I saw Emmett and Rosalie making out- which reminded me why I was there. I needed to see new girl, I needed to see if she had anything to offer me. After a while, you get bored of the same people, and new girl was just that- new. But so far, she didn't like attention, didn't laugh at my joke, and didn't even stare at me. I'd give it a week maybe, to try to get in her pants- if she doesn't succumb then maybe she's a chess club girl- and that I would never, ever, tap.

- that bitch, yeah who wants to bet, I'd fuck that Isabella person by the end of the week?" Mike was laughing so loud that it was annoying.

"What did you say?" Emmett suddenly seemed interested. "The new girl, Isabella something, she's one fine thing." Mike and Tyler exchanged smirks.

"What? She's so… introverted?" Jasper offered, not seeing the draw. "That's it, she's like one of those pure and precious things, it'll mean more if you're her first, you know?" Mike boasted.

"Dude, that is seriously… sick. It's one thing to want an easy lay, another to want to stain a virgin." Emmett shook his head, though we would never admit it, we listened to that big guy.

"Oh holy Saint Emmett, why so kind all of a sudden, thy shall not forget, thou girlfriend sits here." Tyler mocked Emmett's belief on virgins.

I laughed bitterly, "Tyler, it's thou shall not and thy girlfriend, try to pass your English first before you try to tap new girl- I hear she's got quite a brain." Tyler and Mike glared at me, we never really got along, and though in the team we played well together. "What's it to you, Cullen? You're type suddenly brainy ones now?" I glanced at the girls, "I don't have a type. But I don't have to settle for easy lays either."

Secretly I wondered if I did have a type, and as I locked my hand in Tanya's hair, I realized I didn't have one- not yet.

Baseball training was boring as ass- like usual. Coach Rams asked us to do warm up and drills, and frankly I've memorized them like the back of my hand. I internally hummed the tune of Closer by N.I.N to keep myself from sleeping while doing physical labor. "So, Cullen, how are the girls lately? I hear Tanya stepped down as Cheering Captain, you still fucking her after that?" Jeremy asked.

"Man, I'm not sure, it won't be as glorifying anymore, but she gives fucktastic head. She's my girl tonight, and she's been kind of distant since that Cheer thing, you know?"

"Yeah, my girl says that the drama in that squad is so much, she's like always stressed an—"Ren stopped midsentence and I assume it's at the looks we were feeding him with.

"You are one… whipped guy." Emmett finally whispered. And the locker room tradition started, we pushed him to stand at one of the benches as we all chanted 'whipped, whipped, whipped!' until he went gay on our asses and said that he wasn't being whipped, he was just in love, as all other pussywhipped men would say.

Hell, deep inside, I knew that half the team wanted to be as whipped as him- only lonely mother fuckers would actually make fun of a guy who gets laid by the girl of his dreams- which he successfully got. Everyone in that locker knew, we'd all love to be whipped as well, as long as it means getting the girl.

New girl never showed up for lunch, she however, showed up for Gym.

**AN! You know the drill. :] YKTD. I have a thing for smoking, pierced, tattooed Edward. Who still loves getting whipped by girls. **


	2. Pounded

**Destruction**

Chapter 2- Pounded

Raspy shouts, girly squeals, and locker slams is the soundtrack of Gym period.

Do you remember in 5th grade or so, boys and girls would have this invisible iron wall between them, because girls were too disgusted with boys, and boys were afraid of girls? Well, in Gym Class- that's Coach Rams' only wish- for that wall to be present again. He hated having to deal with the worsened version of a teenage boy, the version where in, the only thing in his mind was- fuck. This is a fact because, I'm a guy, and that is the only thing in our minds when we see girls in light shirts, and tight short shorts. Our condition worsens even more when the girl gets to work and her thighs bounce up and down, and she gets tired, and bends over and huffs, and we see that shiny skin, that sweaty tan, that bouncing cleavage- "move it!" the whistle blew.

People were separating and I idly wondered if we were assigned with partners. Emmett must've recognized my look of totally not knowing anything because he rolled his eyes and grabbed me by my shirt. "We have assigned sides. Girls at one side and boys at the other.

The girls were asked to run around the court as their warm up, and obviously my eyes travelled down to their bouncing asses. Until I noticed that new girl didn't even bother running- she walked briskly while she stared at the floor as if it was going to swallow her whole. I guess she still wasn't over the earlier incident. Instead of getting annoyed at her lack of interest or ability in athletics, I found it rather cute. It was endearing the way she was so shy and as if she heard my thoughts about her- she looked up at me. And in that second where her eyes met mine- her front met the floor.

The class laughed out loud at her. I couldn't even begin to imagine how humiliating it must feel to be laughed at twice in one class. I knew why she tripped, and that was what stopped me from making fun of her- but I wasn't touched enough, or guilty enough to get up from my seat and help her. I felt someone's burning gaze on me, "What, Emmet?" I hissed, exasperated. "You seem troubled, man. Need help with the math?" he chuckled, enjoying my demise.

I rolled my eyes at him, trying to shake away the guilt I felt. Hold that thought, I was guilty? Damn. It didn't slide my thought that Emmett was still staring at me, and it didn't slide my attention that he too had not made fun of new girl.

Gym was boring as hell as the exercises which were supposed to be challenging entertained me. My idle mind drifted to Emmett's earlier behavior.

Emmett McCarty was 10 years old when I met him. I had been waiting for Carlisle to finish up his paper work when this young, chubby, curly haired, dimple maniac started running towards me and my dad. "You're a doctor? Save my mom, please?" he begged dad; dad immediately gave me a look telling me to just patiently wait in his office, with the boy. Dad asked Emmett where his mom was, and Emmett muttered it low, but dad heard it anyway.

While waiting, Emmett and I had a game of Scrabble and Jenga. Dad and I went home after a few hours, and that was the last time I ever saw Emmett again. I saw him the following school year in school and we quickly became close friends. I persuaded him to play ball, he thought me about cars, at 14 I found out the reason as to why his mom was in the hospital, 4 years in prior. Emmett's mom was rushed to the emergency room again and this time, I forcibly pulled the story out of him. His dad hit his mom that night, and so many other nights before. His dad was an alcoholic, and had a lot of affairs, but his most serious one was the one with his neighbor. I told Emmett that he was all his mom had, and that he should always take care of her. And that he should be honest to his mom about his dad's infidelity. But Emmett is a stubborn soul.

Last year, Emmett McCarty met Rosalie at a Drag Racing tournament. In the span of 1 week, Emmett stopped seeing and bedding other girls. In 1 month, he dropped cocaine. In 2 months, his school attendance improved and he hardly got detention. In Emmett's 3rd month of being Rosalie's friend, he finally asked her to be his girlfriend.

3 months later, Emmett finally had enough courage to tell his mom about his dad's adultery, and tell the cops about his abusive father. 2 months later, his parents divorced, Emmett stayed with his mom, of course. His dad was fined and was sent to jail- the sentence? Emmett never bothered knowing. He just hoped that if ever they set him free, his dad won't go after him and his mom anymore. And 1 month ago, Emmett finally said the 3 words to Rosalie. He finally said "I love you" to her.

It's amazing how much change within a year, and even more amazing how much a girl changes you for the better. How your loved one can change you without asking you to change for him or her. How you just change, without planning to, simply because your soul chooses to be better fit for its partner. I literally wanted box myself now for being goddamned sappy.

Lunch rolled next and the mysterious new girl never showed up- again. Emmett along with the other baseball guys sat with me on one end of our table. On the other end, sat the girlfriends, cheerleaders and Jasper. He was in love with Alice like a drunken man loved his alcohol. I felt an odd sense of déjà vu where I joined lunch yet my mind was focused on finding a brown haired girl. Despite this, I participated actively in the noise and chatter going on around me but it didn't escape Emmett's notice that I kept glancing back at the cafeteria doors. "I don't think she's coming out, Eddieboy" he breathed and I pretended not to hear him. I wasn't fortunate enough to be in any of her other classes and I realised how stupid I was; I could land any girl I wanted, and here I was getting hooked to a girl I didn't even know the last name of.

Come dismissal time, I saw Tanya leaning on my car in a relatively simple outfit compared to her revealing ones. "Hi babe" I kissed her cheek and she offered me a small smile, "We need to talk…" those words weren't ever used on me, and I stayed silent and contemplating on the car ride. When I noticed a Starbucks outlet nearing Port Angeles I parked the car and we went in.

"So, shoot."

**AN! YKTD. I like Tanya. She's one of my favorites'.**


	3. Change

**Destruction**

Chapter 3- Change

Jacob Black is sixteen years old (I scoffed at that part), part of the Quileute people, mother unknown, Billy Black's son and the reason for Tanya's change.

She told me to 'get real' and stop 'fucking up life' because it was already handed to me on a 'silver platter'. I told her that I'm not hurting anyone- she raised her eyebrow at that- and that she should go mind her own business and stop being such a hypocrite, because she was like me. Only female. And that's where I got ready for the tongue lashing, but instead she sighed and blushed- shocker, right? - And took another deep breath.

"I'm moving to Alaska for Senior Year. And since this is my last year in Forks, I just wanted people to remember me the right way… not because I made fun of some loser's outfit, not because I treat the younger batches like my personal butlers, not because I gave a hot guy a blowjob and ran away, not because people call me pretty, not because I get what I want when I want it. I want to be remembered for so much more than that."

Now, I won't lie to you and say I won't miss Tanya. She's one easy going girl, she's talented, damn pretty, sexy, but she's not exactly smart per se, she's blind to the people she thinks love her, and she makes Cheerleading her life. I urged her to continue.

"This is also the reason I'm quitting the team. Now, those girls have been my priority since I got in the squad, late freshman year. I know I've been a captain since mid- sophomore year, and since then my grades have dropped. I love the girls as though they were my sisters but who am I kidding? Those girls are bitches, and think they own everyone just because were cool cheerleaders. It doesn't have to be like this, maybe in College I get to be a cheerleader, yet still have enough dignity. It's just not happening in High School. Due to this exterior, people think I'm a slut, Edward! No one ever calls you a slut. I've ever only slept with three guys, you, James and Jacob. That is not slutty."

I raised my eyebrow at her and congratulated myself for staying awake at a girl's rant. She continued,

"All of the time I used in Cheerleading, I will now use in Studying. I am getting that Isabella girl to tutor me, she has amazing grades and when we talked, she actually talks to me properly, she doesn't suddenly go nerdy, she answers when I'm confused, and when I have no idea what's going on she teaches me as though it's a story. Very good techniques, and… I am making her prettier-"

"Who's Isabella?" I cut her off.

"In a grave time like this, you have to think of a replacement for me. She's the new girl. And by all means, Edward- keep this one out of your bed."

Wow. She didn't even encourage me to bed the girl and make fun or post a video of it that was new and nice of her. And at that moment, three girls in school suddenly had my respect, Tanya being the additional one. It didn't surprise me one bit that new girl was smart, I mean- intelligence came to the silent ones right? In the exception of Emmett, Jasper and myself. Okay, I take that back. In the exception of Alice, Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper and myself.

I saw that look of fervor on Tanya's face when I started paying attention to her moving lips again- was she talking? She had a sudden change of heart, and it was all due to Jacob. But if I were being honest with myself, I believe it was all due to her falling in love. Love changed the people closest to me, and I wondered idly when cupid would strike me. I just hope cupid would hit me and whichever mystery girl he had in mind. It would be a bummer if I'm the only one getting hit. Or if she's the only one getting hit.

That brought my imaginary self to a laughing fit, because if that was the case, cupid needed to fix his aim. Too many girls were already claiming to be in love of me, and most of them didn't even know my middle name.

"I'm glad to hear that you've finally found him, Tanya. Really, I am."

"I have no doubt in your sincerities Edward. I do however have a doubt in your dick. Please, please try to change. Maybe your girl will walk in your life when you start looking up, and not down."

"I have no idea what you're talking about." And for one last time, I sent her a flirtatious wink to which she gagged at. Yup, totally in love with someone else. Thank you God!

Before I had the urge to become such a douche bag, I was actually a pretty good kid. I became an even better kid when Alice was adopted. I just changed in freshman year. I mean, I was always flirting around, but I really changed in freshman year. It was when I realized, you don't have to work hard, when you can get things the easy way- I mean, it's stupid to put so much effort in something which can be accomplished with a wink. But then, I was never satisfied. Because I didn't earn my own credits, whatever I 'accomplished' never felt good enough, and then girls came to the equation and I slowly drifted to be a douche.

Some boys have dramatic changes like, he was dumped by a girl he loved for years, so he got scared of getting hurt, and now he's some player. Or he wasn't noticed enough when he was a child, so now he does stupid things to get his parent's attention. Or he was always compared to a sibling, so he doesn't bother being good anyway. My reason was plain, simple and shallow; I do things the easy way. To the point that I don't bother doing it if there's no shortcut involved. And I got bored easily.

Since Jessica was my girl for tonight, I'm waiting for her. We were on our way to The Lookout. She said some crap about the beautiful view or some girly thing but I know the only view she wants is my cock, and that for her was sort of beautiful. And since I'm a man- I look forward to tonight. Hearing the news that Tanya left Cheerleading, she tried out for the squad, and since girls in that group were all for popularity, they let Jessica in, it meant more publication for them- Tanya's words not mine.

I had nothing against cheerleaders; I have something against the cheerleaders of my school. Hell, I think it's awesome that they do all those painful looking stunts, and still be happy. It's awesome that they get thrown to the air just to be caught just for the moment of applause, when actually they're risking a bone or shit. And now, I want to gag. I sound like a wannabe cheerleader.

"Hi Tiger." Jessica winked at me and pinched my ass. Why does she call me tiger? Maybe I should call her something sweet, like cow or goat.

"Hi." What happened to my cow and goat?

She was obviously flaunting her new uniform; it was a short pleated skirt in the color of dark blue, a sleeveless tight dark blue top with FHS across it in Yellow. The outlines of her costume were in white. Tanya let me in on a secret- they had training attire. And costumes were only supposed to be worn on games. But for these attention grabbing cheerleaders, they wore the costume almost daily. I've only seen Tanya in the costume thrice or five times, she always had her training clothes on- they would stink, but she laughed it off as 'hard work'. Then she'd remover her clothes, I'd get hard and she'd do her work. I shouldn't be thinking of Tanya right now.

But really, those dark blue shorts, and white baggy top, she explained that they were to keep them free, so they can dance properly. But for me, it was so my hand would fit and I could fondle with her breasts immediately.

"Edward, let's go." Jessica smiled at me.

The Lookout wasn't crowded nor was it empty. I parked the car under some tree and let Jessica do her business on me. She slowly undid my zipper, she fondled with my hard on and she immediately sucked and pumped my dick- hasn't she ever heard of foreplay of the foreplay? Honestly, she was making this so boring- and that ruined my horny mood.

But when she made me come- after around 10 minutes of dick sucking, I pulled her hair and whispered, "New girl".

Her head snapped up, "What?"

I recovered and said, "You go, girl." She grinned at that and fixed my zipper. I think Jessica expected some kind of reciprocation but I was distracted due to the name I mentioned.

"I'm really tired, Jess. I hope you understand…" I tried to look at her in a regretful and hoped my expression was right and I wasn't staring at her in an anxious way.

"Of course I understand, Edward."

I took her and myself home, still confused as to why I whispered another girl's name- I never did that. No matter how many girls I've been with. I always got the name right.

And here I was saying new girl's name. I didn't even know her last name!

Isabella was her first name, which I was sure of. Now, the name people so fondly refer to as… it must be some part of Isabella, and it should start with a B. Bea… Bell… Bella? And new girl's last name?

Now that, I had no idea was what. Smith? That was the only last name I could think of that sounded like hers. I mentally cursed myself; I should not, ever be stressed over a name. I was Edward fucking Cullen for crying out loud. And when I opened my door I was surprised to see the scene before me.

New girl was at the table, having dinner- with my family. Wait, what?

"Edward you're home!" My mom gushed at me, "I hope you don't mind, Alice's friend- Bella _Swan_- joined us for dinner!" she grinned at me like a child on Christmas morning.

"That's okay, mom. I'll go take my bag to my room first and I'll eat with you." I kissed her cheek and left just to feel the presence of eyes following behind me.

I grabbed the seat beside golden girl Rosie. Emmett continued their already started conversation by some jab towards me about getting late due to having the time of my life with Jessica. Carlisle choked on his steak and glared at me while Esme patted his back, Carlisle's face turned puce when I grinned and agreed with Emmett. That was as much attention I got, because after that the conversation revolved around Bella. She must be someone very special to Alice- we hardly allow anyone at our house during our family time. All the parties that we hold are always held at the Hale's or Whitlock's. Emmett's mom wanted constant quiet so having a house party at the McCarty's was an absolute no-no.

The farthest my girls reach in my house is my front porch. I talk to them there, or in the car, but never inside. I simply didn't want them getting in my personal space, and I didn't want to disrespect Esme and Carlisle's rules, they don't exactly want to be polite to my fuck toys. My attention returned to the table when I heard the new girl talking.

"Tanya is okay, she learns fast and she's very excited about everything. It's no bother tutoring her at all." Bella ended her statement with a light chuckle.

Her statement wasn't the one which grabbed my attention, it was that voice. And the way she phrased her sentenced, she didn't use _like, omg, anyways, totally_, at all! And her voice, did I mention her voice? Let me talk about her voice, it tempted me to sleep- but not out of boredom. It was as if it was made to be a grown man's lullaby. It was damn soft and smooth, and cascaded through the air in slow and calming waves. I also wasn't used to girls (excluding Esme, Alice and Rosalie) to talking calmly. She was so soft spoken and polite, and not exaggerating or attention seeking, it was oddly_ natural._

I tried to participate in the conversation, "Hmm, Tanya did mention something about the new girl tutoring her. It's nice to hear it's all going fine."

She looked at me and blushed? That was new. I don't know if I find that attractive, or funny…

"Well, Edward… Bella is a nice friend; you can form a good friendship in the future." Emmett gave me a grin, and I understood his stupid implications. He wanted me to be only friends with the new girl; he was also against the idea of Bella being one of my girls, hah! As if I'd want to tap that virgin, I can't believe he and Tanya thought of the same thing, was everyone's idea of me the same?

Bella Swan left quickly after dinner. She didn't even try to stay over or get overly close with Alice or try to "know me". She genuinely just stayed for dinner.

"Hold up, why was new girl with us?"

"Oh Edward! I invited Bella over, she's super cool! She was the best during English!" Alice giggled and I stared at Rosalie asking her to explain.

"Stanley was making some comment against Tanya. 'Said Tanya was not able to handle the drama of the Cheerleading squad and backed out, and that the girls practically begged Jessica to join the team, because they all "love" her. Then Stanley continued on and on and on claiming that anyone who hangs out with Tanya the cheer has been is a sore loser and when she said that remark, she pointed at Bella and told Bella to end the pity project of helping Tanya become smart. 'Said it was a hopeless case. Tanya glared at Jessica and flipped her off, some people chuckled but no one really made fun of Tanya, but Bella turned ultra snob queen. She told Jessica that Tanya's had enough Cheer experience and Team Captain experience and Tanya got bored of it and handed a slot to Jessica- who was in Bella's term, "the real pity project" the class kinda gawked at Bella after that and snickered at Jessica's direction."

"Bro, trust me that new girl is some cool chick that you can't mess with!" Emmett laughed, adding- "Maybe she can put you in your place too!"

"Well sorry to disappoint you guys, but since Bella looks like a promising target, I think I just might choose her. Since Jessica's been humiliated now, I can't take her anymore, and I can't lose two girls in a week, what will people say?" I complained in horror.

Alice gave me a look. "Edward, please brother, I want my friendship with Bella! Don't screw her please!" Alice knew that brother was my weakness, but Bella… and my rep…

"I can't make any promises, Al. Sorry."

They exchanged disapproving glances but they detected in my voice that I wasn't joking, and a serious Edward (no matter how stupid) couldn't be stopped. But they continued their conversations, already used to my dickhead ways. Esme couldn't stop emphasizing her wish for Bella to be at the house more often, and I could clearly see that Alice and Emmett had opened up to her quite well.

You could be wondering, I was an only child and Alice is my adopted sister, so why was Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper with us for dinner? It's simple, Alice's boyfriend, Jasper, happens to be my best friend too. So he of course gets to join dinner for being her boyfriend, and my best friend. Emmett was my other best friend, so he also got the privileges Jasper received, and Rosalie was welcome for the same reason- being Alice's best friend, and my best friend's girlfriend. Esme and Carlisle used to mind, because we had to buy more and more food, but in the end they got over it and accepted the family.

But I had never, ever imagined anyone ever being added. And moreover, I had never expected my parents to be so fond of someone that they'd invite over and over again. This Isabella \ Bella Swan person must be quite the special one.

Well, she isn't special in my book, no one ever is. Nothing and no one really matters- except me.

**AN! My longest chapter yet, this is my amendment because I will be gone for a few weeks, which is why I planned to give you a little more to chew on, my next chapter will be just as long- in the least or way longer! Now, who wants me to convert this to rated T instead? My cussing is not coming along very well. And the sexual part? I can't put it properly unless in a one-shot. I shall decide based on the majority of the votes. T or M? **


	4. Solving Insecurities

****************

Destruction

Chapter 4- Solving Insecurities

She looked at me through the dark curtain of her hair. We just shuffled seats again in class, and Bella was moved to sit directly next to me in Biology. I stared back at her and she looked away, dropping her hair to fully cover the side of her face which was previously exposed to me. Earlier on, I had tensed up when Mr. Banner announced to the class that we will be shuffling seats and changing lab partners because the class' Biology average wasn't good enough. He believed that maybe if the teamwork improves, so will our grades. It was kind of ironic actually, he wanted our grades to improve yet he made the top two students in class partners- Bella and I.

Honestly, I had nothing against Isabella Swan, in fact, I liked her very much. She was real, humble, smart, soft-spoken and well-liked by all. But she's too good to be true. She immediately fit herself in my family, she was everywhere I looked, she was as smart as I was, she was good, and she didn't know the effect she had on people. No, I am not jealous of her. I just don't believe someone like her could be so perfect- she has to have a flaw. And okay, maybe I was a little bit jealous.

Alice no longer constantly begged for my attention, she no longer needed to dress me up, she didn't even try colour-coordinating my shirt to my shoes and/or eyes anymore. Emmett doesn't call me annoying names anymore, he usually gives his attention to Bella now, Rosalie doesn't glare at me so much anymore- she has someone else to glare at, Jasper hardly has enough time to talk to me and bond with me, he's always with her and Alice. But of course, I'm exagerating, nothing's changed much- I just don't want to be around them when she is. They all have a link to her, some sort of connection, and I don't. Oddly enough, I feel like the new one, I feel like the intruder when she's there.

It was never an issue within the five of us that I didn't have a serious girlfriend, and I never felt like the fifth wheel. I always had this confidence that it was all okay. However, ever since Bella arrived, she just looks so perfect with my family. Not because she was popular like them, or because she had a cocky attitude which made her think she fit n, she just perfectly fit. As if she was some long lost soul that finally belonged, and I realised, I never belonged that way with them. I just felt I did.

I don't even know Rosalie's middle name.

I just know it's some sort of plant. A flower, I think? Or am I thinking of her already first name? Rose was a flower, right?

This is my point.

Well... not entirely. My point was, I was bitter with the new girl, Bella Swan for fitting in perfectly with my family when I didn't. They always made me feel welcome, and frankly, I felt that way. But watching from a third person's point of view, it looked as though, I was delusional for thinking I deserved to be in that group when in fact I didn't know all of them well, and that Bella is more deserving. I hated her for that. But, as irritating as I may be, I am no git. I wasn't enough of an asshole to sabotage this girl, especially if she brought Alice and the rest so much joy. So instead of scheming- which is what I'd normally do- I planned on doing something different; actually getting to know the new girl.

"Are you alright?" The timid voice beside me pulled me out of my thoughts. Surprised that she had the nerve to speak with me, I didn't answer. "I'm sorry," she continued, "I didn't mean to disturb your careful thinking. Please ignore me, I'm starting to babble. I mean, I don't really want you to ignore me- but, wait, that sounded inappropriate, I'm not desperate for your attention either- No, I dont want you to think you're that important, but I'm not saying you aren't an-" I felt bad for her, so I cut her off.

"Bella, what would it take for you to go out after school with Edward Cullen?" I grinned at her, hoping she'd just shut the hell up.

"What? Like as in a date? Not that I'm hoping it is, not that I-"

"No, I just feel like, I should get to know you better, my family just adores you." I wanted to chuckle at her, but I didn't want to further torment her.

"Oh. Okay, but I have to take my car home first."

"I'll follow you to your house, then you can drop off your car, and we'll go have coffee together, okay? Meet you at the Parking Lot at 3:00 pm, directly after class?"

"No problem."

I walked Bella to her next class, enjoying the stares we received for some reason. I was just walking beside her though- not carrying her books, not holding her hands, not doing anything. Just walking, and yet the glares I received from the boys were menacing- I enjoyed being on the receiving end for once. I remembered those who shot me glares, I'd have some payback only The King could deliver (I'm referring to myself, by the way). The glares the girls were shooting Bella were lethal-_ if only looks could kill_. And all she could do was walk quietly, avoiding the stares while I enjoyed them. We walked slowly, unlike those times I was with one of my hoes, I always rushed walking, I just couldn't risk having one of them babble. Needless to say, I enjoyed Bella's presence very much, she calmed me and brought me to some holy place where I just was just content (maybe this was the reason why my family loved her? No, it can't be this shallow. Anyway, I'm sure Emmett and Jasper don't feel this way around her, if they did, their girlfriends would have their balls for lunch.) It's like, she took me to Nirvana? Please, ask me to shut up. That was such a happy, gay, clappy, sappy, analogy.

When Bella left my side and entered her class I saw one of my teamates entering the same class, he shot me a weird look. Danny clapped my back, "Dude, this one's different. Anyway, gotta go, Romeo. You also have school, and stop the drool." He grinned.

"Shut it, Asia. _(He was Taiwanese, in case you're wondering.) _Your attempt at Poetry is an epic fail. See you later, alligator." Ha-ha, my poetry was loads better. We high-fived as I rushed to my class.

I sat with my family during lunch time, tired of pitying myself and going insecure over Bella Swan. They looked happy, but I can't be so sure. No one was talking and Jasper was eyeing me as if he wanted to fuck me. No, I'm joking; he was eyeing me as if he was waiting for me to say something- like they were all waiting for some holy explanation on why I'd been distant.

"So... do any of you have plans later after school?" I tried to break the ice, and it worked!

Then came their overlapping response, which I'm sure you can pinpoint which is whose.

"None, want to go shopping with me, Edward? It's been so long since I've done your wardrobe!"

"I'm attending Maria's college party at Seattle. Dude, you want to tag along?"

"Rosalie and I are attending a Car Show tonight, we'll be out until tomorrow. Interested to join?"

"Actually, I just wanted to make sure that none of you already made plans with Bella over here. I'm taking her out."

Alice's head snapped up, Jasper's apple froze mid-air, and Emmett and Rosalie continued staring at me, Bella blushed, "What?" I asked, peeved of their reactions. "I didn't want to ruin her plans last minute. I don't know if she said 'yes' out of politeness or genuine interest." I grinned at Bella, at that she blushed harder.

Alice immediately grinned and sat up straight, "Actually, Edward and Bella, I'm very sorry... After the Car Show which Emmett and Rosalie will attend, we're all attending a Killer's concert, so we'll be gone from Friday to Sunday. Please, don't change your plans- go on, have fun. Take care of each other while we're gone and, yeah... have fun!"

"You had The Killers concert tickets, and didn't think of inviting me or Bella?"

Jasper came to Alice's rescue this time, "Look man, you were avoiding us, so we weren't sure if you'd want to come with- and we didn't think buying you a ticket was the smartest option if you did say no, and as much as we would've loved Bella to join, we knew it would mak you feel bad secretly- if she went and you didn't."

"Oh yeah? You already have the tickets? Tell me the details of this magical concert."

"Secre. Don't want you to go there and make a scene." Despite Jasper's smoothness in delivering his reply, his eyes weren't calm. They were itchin to look somewhere else.

Like I said earlier, I wasn't a git. Emmett and Rosalie's eyes all widened in confusion and they all stared at Alice and Jasper. Alice stared back with a haughty look which made them all look down and murmur in agreement. I could tell Bella didn't buy one bit of it either. "Oh, that's too bad, Al. I've made plans with Jessica for the weekend, and I know Edward's got plans, too. Right?" Bella stared at me deeply, which made me just go, "Uhuh."

Speak of the devil, and the devil shall appear. Alice piped out, "Jessica! I heard you have plans with Bella, but I need you to cancel those. Mike wants you to go on a date with him."

"I don't have plans with Bella, and I know... I am going to the Killer's concert with Mike..." Jessica stared at us in confusion and before walking away sent me a wink. _Disgusting._ Bella glared at Alice so hard, and I knew Alice felt it, she didn't look at Bella at all. I didn't dare speak out or go against Alice anymore. She's got so much power in this school, and can easily block everyone's plans just to make sure what she wanted cam through, and although I did too have power, I may be let off the hook- but Bella wont be. And, I am not a git, nor am I heartless.

The drive to Bella's house was completely as I expected, quiet and calm. I already knew where she lived, everyone did- her dad was the Chief.

"That was such an embarassing lunch." She muttered as soon as she entered my front seat. "I agree with you." I answered as I was backing out of her driveway.

"So where are we going tonight, Edward?"

"I'm taking you to Port Angeles, where there's this little cafe called 'The Old Spaghetti House' where we will have coffee and an early dinner. Then I will take you home. Safe enough?" I smiled.

"Perfect. So..." I looked at her, and then I really _saw_. She was more different from the others than I thought. She had on plain blue jeans, a worn out pair of black converse, and a gray hoodie, with a pink skeleton as the print. She wore her hair down, and had an old brown Jansport. She was simple, and yet, oddly enough, it made her look sort of pretty.

"Let's play ten questions, since Port Angeles wont take so long to reach. I'm not taking 'no' for an answer, and to ease things up, I'll go first. What's your full name?"

"Isabella Marie Swan. What's yours?" That was a pretty, classy name... "Edward Anthony Masen Cullen. What's your favourite colour?"

"Green. And you have a classic name-" _Oh, how in tuned our thoughts are_, "and what's yours?"

"Blue. Do you know Classical music?" I was expecting some disgusted reaction and once again I was shocked by her, "Yes. I love Claire de Lune, Debussy." My grin enlarged and I quickly put my CD in, when she heard the familiar music, she smiled and closed her eyes. No more questions were asked for that car ride.

I stared at her as she relaxed in my front seat, and slowly started to realise why my family loved her so much.

But, that doesn't mean that I will adore her, too. She will have a flaw- every girl does.

We continued our casual interrogation at the restaurant, from colour- to music, to shopping- to books, to first crushes and view points on relationships. Her reaction when I inquired about her undeniable amount of admirers in school was hilarious; she hated it, she hated them all, and she shut me up, when she shot the same question to me, of course, she wouldnt believe that I hated it all- because I have a girl with me always. But she did believe that I wasn't serious with them- I don't know if that relieved me or bothered me. She jokingly added that she'd never date me, because I'd make her cry, and that also hit me- but I'm unsure whether I was bothered or not.

She told me about Renee leaving them because her mom was the adventurous one, and at Junior year, she just had to be with Charlie, finally realising that her mom will be alright with her new husband, Phil. She also mentioned that her dad is exactly like her, that's why although they don't seem close, they see eye to eye, she said she enjoys the peace and quiet she gets at home in Forks, but was overwhelmed by the Student body's reaction towards her.

I was shocked by that, didn't a girl as unique as her get loads of boyfriends in Phoenix? "I think that's why I didn't get a boyfriend, I'm unique." She said that with a frown. I told her that special was good, every girl in the world was just as superficial as the other, and she shut me up once more when she pointed out that Phoenix was filled with boys like me- who only go for the superficial ones.

"I do it, because I'm hoping one of them turns out to be the one for me, Bella. That's why I go through girls. Someday, I'll reach the right one, and when she comes, the game is over. Because, I believe when I'm with her- no other girl will matter. And right now in Forks, I haven't found her yet."

"Why don't you wait?"

"I'm afraid that that is what my girl is doing, she might also be waiting for me to go and sweep her off her feet. If she's waiting, and I'm waiting, nothing will happen, I can't be sure that she's finding me, and atleast, even if she is, then surely, we'll reach each other."

"That's a really sweet way to excuse you being a player, a douchebag and an asshole. No offense."

"None taken."

"Aren't you afraid that you'll fall in love with the wrong one? And you're girl will be stuck alone and with a wrong person too?"

"I believe in second chances. If I don't get it, then I'll stick with the girl I fell in love with, because I won't fall in love with a mistake anyway, something will make her right, at least."

"Then, you'll be depriving four people true love."

"I'm selfish."

"Jerk."

"Ooh, feisty."

And our conversation went on and on and on. I've never had a conversation that long and intelligent, with only one girl, without being in love or having sex with her. Not even with Rosalie and Alice. Bella was the first. Which shocked and scared me and at the same time made me happy- it proved to me that the mistake was with the girl, I was capable of something not physical, and I could still enjoy it, I enjoyed this.

I was signalling the waiter for the bill when Bella's phone rang, "Yes dad, no dad, having dinner, with Edward Cullen, okay, I will, love you too, bye."

"I guess I have to take you home now." I smiled at her and she grinned at me, "Yes, I have to be home before 8:30 pm, Edward."

"No problem."

"This is so unfair, I didn't get you to talk about your family, and all other things you got me to talk about." She whined.

"That's okay, we'll make room for 'Coffee and Dinner Part Two.'"

"I'll hold you to that."

I didn't know what to do with her when we reached her house, I've never done this, I always usually make out with the girl first or kiss her at her door, I don't think that's appropriate with Bella...

"So Bella, I had a nice dinner tonight, I really enjoyed talking to you- I haven't had a smart, decent, long conversation with a girl for a long time, and I'm glad I've finally understood why you bring so much joy to my family. I hope we get to be really close." I smiled at her, hoping that nothing in my speech would scare her off.

"Thank you, Edward. Me too." Then she pecked me on the cheek, got out of my car and went to her porch. Before she could storm into her door and panic over some shit on kissing me, I clicked the switch to make her side of the car window to go down and I hollered her name.

"Bella!"

"Y-yeah?" She slowly turned around.

"Have a nice night, okay? I'll see you tomorrow." Then I winked, just to ease her nerves. And frankly, to ease mine too.

The house was eerily quiet when I arrived. I figured everyone else was still out. Which is odd, considering it was a school night. Regardless, I was exhausted and went straight to my room. I almost pissed in my pants when I saw Alice, Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie sitting on my bed.

Alice broke the silence, "So... how was the date?"

**AN! My most heartfelt apologies! My 'a few weeks' turned out to be a few months! I hope you still love this story as much as when I left it, because I sure as hell love writing it just as much. I haven't gotten your votes in yet, T or M? By the way, I'd really appreciate reviews, and as much as I adore reviews, I adore comments just as much- I don't plan on changing my original storyline anyway, just the quality of my work, so what you say will really matter! I apologise once more for the delay. Forgive me? Just like Charlie said, "Forgiveness is divine."**


	5. Denial and Defiance

**Destruction**

Chapter 5- Denial and Defiance

I deliberately ignored her question and walked straight to my room dropping my stuff on the floor. "Get out." I whispered simply knowing they'd hear me in the calm atmosphere. "Fine then." I whispered when they made no move. Alice's eyes brightened, thinking I was about to kiss and tell. Sorry, I don't. "If you don't leave, I'll make it unbearable to stay." I warned them again.

Once again all three of them ignored me. I walked to my closet, pulled out the first shirt and flannel pajama pants I touched and shaked it at their faces. I started to strip in front of them. "Edward, you think stripping will get us to go? I've seen your goods in the Locker Room to many times to count, Alice is your family and it's so easy to make Rosie close her eyes." Emmett scoffed at my idea.

I continued stripping down to my boxers. True to his word, he placed his hand on Rosalie's eyes and she covered his hand with hers. I pulled my boxers down and was now in my birthday suit.

"Holy mother of fake! He's your brother. Not biological, though. No, he's still your brother. Plus, you have Jasper. Jasper. Jasper. Jasper." Alice kept on moaning and reminding herself to remain faithful to Jasper then she shut her eyes. Emmett laughed loudly and she punched him. I started dressing up and went to my bed. In a matter of seconds, all I could hear was the sound of Alice's deep breathing, Emmett's comforting words to Rosalie and the soft tapping of a nearby tree to my window. "So anyway, Ed..."

I passed out before I fully got interrogated.

_Bella._

I learnt that she was a clumsy and klutzy awkward person, despite how graceful she looked or how much poise she had. Her name was Isabella Marie Swan- she didnt include her mother's maiden name because of some unknown reason. Bella had been very touchy when the subject poined to her mom, I figured to not ask, afraid that I'd hit a chord and lose her. I had also discovered that Bella- unlike most girls who loved talking about themselves- had a secret. During our session last night, she skillfully dodged topics related to her mom, momentarily making me forget and let it go, saying something else- yet something just as ingtriguing, everything about her was- and avoiding the topic completely. I didn't realise it last night. I realised it today on the way to school when all I could think of was last night. It's like being physically present but my mind was somewhere else, it was with her.

Having Bella as your friend really do have its pros and cons. For instance, I was able to walk with my family again, and be talked to. I was able to have lunch with them again and laugh. I finally understood the private jokes around. I understood what Alice meant by "so-called death traps" (which were high heels she had to _force_ Bella to wear, if you are wondering), what Emmett meant by "little sister and giant teddy bear"(which is his description of them, he thought of himself as her big brother, the giant teddy bear she could turn to), I understood Rosalie's comment of Bella hating Alice's shopping fix, and why Jasper always whistled "fall down again, Bella?" whenever she walked up to him.

When Alice and Jasper stared at each other- it seemed as though they were the only ones in the world who existed. It seemed like a private moment every single time, even if it happened in the most casual hour, or most public place. It made all of us look away. Then there was Rosalie and Emmett who couldn't get any more public than they already were. Kissing, nibbling, biting, hugging, touching every single second, and taking pride in the light they received. It made me and the rest of the boys jealous, how you could get that much action with one woman and be happy. We all wanted it- the single ones anyway. Then there was Bella, just a few feet away from me. She didn't look bothered by the scene, I almost forgot she was new. She would easily pass as one of us. To ease my obvious discomfort, and possibly her hidden discomfort, I closed the gap between us and put my arm around her shoulder casually.

She didn't flinch or run away screaming bloody rape but she did freeze in place. After exactly two seconds, she continued walking as though my arm around her shoulder was a normal thing. "I'm sorry, do you want me to take it off?"

"No, it's alright." She flashed me a toothy grin and we continued walking towards the school.

"What's first period?"

"I have English with Mr. Williams, you?"

"Maths with Cleo."

"This is my stop then. Thanks, Edward." She slowly removed my arm from her shoulder and entered her class. Before I could leave, I heard something directed to Bella, something I wouldn't know if I didn't hear it first hand.

_"Slut." _

Then her classroom door closed.

Maths class came in handy. I was calculating the odds of finding out who said such a thing to her, and I was calculating the perfect crime to perform once I got my hands on that person. This is one of the drawbacks of having Bella as a friend. She had no boyfriend, and I immediately felt protective of her. I was protective of Alice and a little bit of Rosalie and Tanya, but they were alright, they had knights in shining armours, that's why. Bella had no one at the moment, which is why I instinctively felt the need to slit the throat of whichever bitch could me so mean.

Another drawback was losing the trust some of some boys in the team. Most of them wanted her, and some of them were actually decent enough. They felt cheated that I was getting close with Bella. I believe they would actually appreciate it more if I just fucked her then left her to be. However, they could sense that I was honestly being a friend, which in turn, made me serious competition. Emmett was now leading the locker room talks and jokes because hardly anyone laughed with me anymore. They respected me, and talked to me, but when girls entered the conversations, their eyes just spark with such an intense hate, and I know, it's about Bella. Why else would it only start now? Not that I cared what they think, anyway. If they wanted her they could totally go for her.

The last drawback I had- the girls. They were vile towards her. Whispers of Bella Swan, the new girl being a slut, whore, bitch, backstabber, boygrabber, prostitute, easy lay, trailer trash, all these started resurfacing- all the more when I was there. Bella never said anything about it. Not one word, and she never went against my physical advances, she just smiled and made my world light up with sunshine- while I'm sure hers was secretly covered in clouds.

So, I schemed.

"Tanya..." I moaned.

"No."

"Please?"

"Okay, let's hear this _dwarf_ sized favour you want from me..." She finally relented!

"I need to know who's mean towards Bella, and I need you, Rosalie and Alice to stop it." I grinned and continued, "See, not so hard is it?"

"Edward, it is. Every girl in Forks High, with the exemption of me, Rosalie, Alice, Angela Weber and the girlfriends of your team hate her. They're one whole legion."

"So? Tanya, you've done worse."

"Ouch. But, that was before I changed. That was before Jacob happened. I don't want to anymore. No matter how much I love Bella... I can't be a bitch again."

"Then can you give me names?" I grinned like a cat when she pulled our her Blackberry and started to type away. I grinned even larger when she sent the message to my phone.

"Thanks, T. I owe you." I kissed her cheek and walked away. "Good luck with Bella!" She called after me. I resisted the urge to be like a little girl and to turn around and scream at her to shut up. That would be too obvious.

It was simple, really, to convince Alice and Rosalie that my intentions were purely friendly. They immediately agreed to sabotage each and every girl featured in the list. They've included, lost bras, torn up clothes, YouTube videos, Radio Audios, Failed Tests, and after each and every punishment they included a little note to leave Bella 'the hell alone'. They also complained that they got punished themselves just so that the girls don't find it suspicious although I'm quite certain that they didn't give a damn even if everyone knew they did it. Rosalie would've loved that kind of attention and credit even more. I had to remind them that, if they do let the world know that it was their doing, they'll be sent to the Office and lose all chances of ever committting a crime like that again. Rosalie of course agreed- wanting this kind of sabotaging opportunity to happen more in the future.

School was hilarious during the weeks of torture! We whistled to girls walking past us with torn clothing. We laughed when we saw erect nipples because they didn't have any bras inside. It was a good day when something embarassing was announced through the PA. It was a better day when an Audio of moaning was played in the PA. It was the best when new YouTube videos of our schoolmates were posted. Lunch was hilarious when Jessica screamed and threw hear food on the floor when she swore she saw a moving worm inside. She was close to tears and her anger was so obvious. She was sent to the Principal's Office when they discovered that the only worms existing were gummy worms. They thought she was seeking for attention the wrong way.

Lauren's hair colour turned to brown and she was seething with anger. Slowly, the girls blamed Tanya for it. I almost forgot that Tanya only gave me names, but didn't join the sabotaging. I immediately told Alice and Rosalie about it and they included Tanya in the plans. So, she pretended to also have a mishap. She went to school with brown highlights and cried and moaned at the hallway cursing the 'Protector of Bella'. Of course, when we watched her little scene, it looked totally fake- but luckily for us, no else noticed.

"I wonder who's doing all this for me. It sure is funny, flattering but I'm kind of dissapointed."

"Why?" I talked with the bread in my mouth. Screw manners, why wasn't she happy?

"He or she has enough guts to do this but none to let me know he or she exists." I swallowed the bread before laughing out loud. Could she get any cuter?

"Bella, it's me, Rosalie, Alice and Tanya. Of course, Jasper and Emmett know this, too." Her bread fell off her mouth. Classy. I laughed harder at that.

"What the hell. I knew it! I just needed a confession. Why are you guys so primal?"

"No one messes with us." I shrugged my shoulders and lazily put my arms around her, ignoring the stares people shot at me while doing so.

After I joined my family again, it took us a few days of living in our old routines until we had seperated from the populare table and sat at a table just beside it. I don't know why, but we slowly just faded away. We were just as cool as before, but the daily talks of fucking, money, status and family was getting so boring. Rosalie and Emmett had started it, actually. I was surprised to see them in the next table, completely alone. I asked if they were angry with us and Emmett laughed, "God, no. Rosalie and I just can't properly talk about College sitting there. Too noisy."

I pulled up a chair and sat beside Emmett. We've never sat with them ever since. At first they noticed it, but then they realise it didn't change anything, so they let us be. I'll be damned if they ask us to go back there and shit like that. Currently, Bella and I were sitting at our table together alone. Jasper and Emmett were both waiting for Rosalie and Alice's class to finish.

From the corner of my eye I saw Jessica slowly stand up and stare at me. I pulled Bella closer into my side. "Edward!", came the squeaky, average voice.

"Hey, Jessica." I deadpanned. "How're you... You and I haven't had our nights lately." She sat beside me and pouted. "That's Emmett's seat, Jessica. Get up." I murmured softly beside her.

"Fine, selfish ass. I just wanted to know when you wanted a blow, or a fuck, or a quickie. I miss it, you know." She put her arms against her chest and tapped her foot impatiently.

"Uhm. I don't want one, Jessica. Have you seen me be with any girl lately?" I raised my eyebrows at her.

"Yes, you're with her all the time. What happened? Tanya doesn't mind, Lauren is with Tyler anyway, but I'm still your girl. I still have needs, too. And you have to do them." She tried to growl, but failed.

"Uh. No committment, from the start. Her name is Bella, and she's here. Tanya and Lauren have serious boyfriends. Why don't you try that?"

"So is that what you're trying out now? To have a serious girlfriend? With her?" She spit the 'her' out and I wanted to slap this thing, if only she wasn't a female species...

"Better than you. Wait, everything is better than you. I don't need a clingy, wannabe, gossip, and easy girl for a girlfriend. That won't get me anywhere."

"You can joke with yourself, you can fool her, but I'll always know this Edward. You've fucked around once, you'll do it again. Hope you're okay with a whore for a boyfriend, Bella." With that she stormed away.

Emmett, Jasper, Rosalie and Alice entered the cafeteria and noticed my stress. Bella relayed the events and was eyeing me carefully.

I took her home that afternoon, we had to talk things out.

"Edward. I'm not blind. Why haven't you been with your girls? You had this rule, one girl a day, didn't you?"

"I did. I don't know. I don't feel the need for physical gratification anymore- I guess I saw more important things. I also am quite irritated with their shallowness and stupidity, after you came along, I just saw. It's like, I dont have to settle for less, because God created something better. And being your friend is loads better than having to be wtih them."

"I changed you that much, huh?" She was joking, but she didn't know how right on she was. "Yes." I murmured, staring at her.

"I'm not naive, nor am I stupid and blind. Even if you say you like me- which I know you do, I'll always say no."

"Why?" I murmured, getting sad. "Because Jessica has a point. I don't want to get hurt." She smiled at me.

"Then, can I atleast try to win you? Do you like me, too?" I hated asking, I felt like a lost little boy. "Yes, and yes." She grinned at me. How can she be so calm, cool, and collected at this conversation?

When she turned to leave my car, I pulled her against my chest and pecked her lips. I pulled back immediately, "Sorry," on my lips. She wouldn't have that. She pulled me with her to the backseat and kissed me hard. It took me a second to register what we were doing but I pulled her against my chest and hitched her thigh to my side so she was straddling me. Her hands cupped my face and the other pulled my hair while my hands went to the back pocket of her jeans. Perfect ass, if you must know. We kissed passionately when I traced her bottom lip with my tongue, and I gently bit it, she let out a loud moan which I used to enter my tongue into her mouth. Our tongues battled for dominace, until I was so inside her I could feel her teeth banging my teeth. I traced her straight teeth with my tongue and she moaned and threw her head back. I pushed her down the seat and kissed down her neck. At the base of her neck, I licked a spot and blew at it, getting Bella wild. I sucked and kissed until I was sure it would leave a mark- to be seen even if she wore a normal T-Shirt. She got up and pulled me to her and continued making out with me, ignoring the erection I so obviously had. I would stop wherever she wanted to. Even if it meant only kissing for today. Whatever made her happy. She pushed me away and panted.

"Wow. I'm sorry for attacking you." She stared at me, her eyes a dark brown- almost black. "You and I both know we're not sorry." I winked at her, making her blush.

"I'll go now, bye." She said quickly, before pecking me on the lips. I resisted taking her right there and then but she teased me by sucking on my bottom lip. "Bye." Then she walked out my Volvo as if nothing happened.

I appreciated the ass I saw and touched, though. I drove home with a Bella induced high.

**AN! Thank you for those who still support me. I'd really appreciate all your reviews! **


	6. Discovering Purpose

**Destruction**

Chapter 6- Discovering Purpose 

That make out session wasn't the first or last, it was only the beginning of a hundred more. But I didn't want any of it.

I'm just pulling your leg. I wanted it, but _not_ only it. It goes against nature, but with Bella, I actually wanted a long lasting relationship. But whenever I'd try bringing the topic up, she'd runaway. She'd cower, she'd avoid it like the plague, she'd make it look like she was doing _me_ a favour by this 'no strings attached' thing we currently have. But that's exactly what I wanted- strings attached, commitment, feelings. The whole package. I couldn't blame her if ever she didn't want any of it with me, but I wish she'd tell me. But no, she pulls this act and really, I just want to know how she really feels.

I'm not in love- I don't fall. But I do feel, and it's a hell lot.

"Panties in a twist?" Emmett laughed, throwing a french fry at my face. I kept silent.

"Eduardo, sharing is caring. What's eating you up, man?" Jasper flicked some water at my face. I ignored the water act but answered him anyway, "Bella is up."

"We know Bella's got you up. We're asking what's up? Besides the obv-" I saw Jasper elbow Emmett's rib and I smiled at him for that. If the dufus hadn't shut up I would've broken something on him.

"I want a relationship with her... I want to take her out. But she keeps brushing off my advances. I want more than _this_. I want her. All of her." I ducked my head down in shame of my gay confession.

"Dude... who are you and what have you done with Cullen?" Jasper murmured, as if he was comforting a five year old.

"You are semi-whipped." Emmett whispered, touching his heart dramatically.

I should've known, of course they wouldn't take me seriously. "So ask her out." Tanya's voice pulled me out of my regrets. "I trie-" I was cut off. "Hi guys!" Bella's happy voice cut through us.

"Class finally dismissed, Bella? Tanya?" Jasper eyed them, obviously trying to downplay our prior topic. Then the two girls started moaning about their own classes and Emmett and I talked about sports. While Emmett was really into it I just did it so that I wouldn't look too obvious. Alice and Rosalie plopped down the chairs simultaneously kissing their boyfriends' cheeks.

"Tanya, Bella! Why couldn't you have given me that kind of greeting?" I playfully pouted at the two girls. They grinned at each other and sat at both my sides and kissed my cheeks. "Oh yeah." I drawled out, laughing.

By now, everyone already knew about the... physical nature of mine and Bella's relationship. We didn't want them to know, in fact we tried to keep it as a secret- but sometimes... you just can't. My mind wandered back to the time which got us caught...

I had offered to take her home just like every other day which I didn't have training in, and she said no because she had to study at the Library. Desperate to be with her, I offered to study with her. We sat at the further end of the library when the thunder shocked her. I laughed, "Happens everyday," at the she frowned at me. She started shivering and stood up to return her book to one of the shelves, I noticed she was wearing nothing but a thin light tank top, tight denim jeans and a pair of old Converse. "Why are you wearing a top like that in Forks?" I mused aloud, she grimaced at me and answered, "Alice changed my entire wardrobe. I've only 4 regular T-shirts, and 3 pairs of Jeans and I've used up all the shirts this week..." She shivered again so I took of my sweater and kind of forced her into wearing it. She shouldn't freeze to death. As innocent as that gesture was, it was sinful the way she looked in my clothes. Just the fact the 'Cullen' was written behind my Letterman made her look really, really... hot.

I didn't voice out my opinions and we kept reading, I was reading a book on the Spanish Revolutions, simply waiting for Bella to finish whatever she had to revise on when I felt_ it. _She was slowly rubbing her fingers on my palm which was resting leisurely on the table, "Thank you for the jacket..." she had murmured and I didn't reply- I lost my voice. As if that gesture wasn't enough, her foot slowly raised up my jeans and she slid her foot up my calf. Was this girl honestly playing footsie with me? "Bella..." I tried to tell her to stop but then she shivered again-_how can she still feel cold?_- and I felt a completely different kind of feeling surge into my body.

Her Converse slid down my calf as I did the same to her, I grazed her ankle with my Converse and since she was wearing Skinny Jeans, I couldn't lift her jeans up, so I stopped. I saw her mouth turn down a little bit at the loss of contact. Assuring her that I wasn't done, I reached her below and across the table to grab her knee. "You shouldn't start something you can't stop." I murmured.

"What gave you the idea I was starting anything?" She stared at me with innocence and all seriousness. I almost questioned my sanity. Almost.

"Oh. Then I shouldn't return any false advances, then." I replied non-chalantly and enjoyed the way she frowned at me.

"I wouldn't consider it an advance if it didn't get me anywhere."

"What are we talking about?" I teased her, and she maturely stuck her tongue out at me. I started rubbing circles on her knees and got up to sit beside her. "You shouldn't distract me, Edward. Or else, we'll be stuck here longer than I planned." I placed my hand back on her knee and hummed a tune, ignoring her statement. "Really, Edw-wa-aard. I can't... fo-focus!"

I leaned in closer and whispered in her ear, "Obviously." My hand went up and massaged her jean-covered thigh, "What are you studying?"

"B-Biology-yyy."

"You don't need to, we're partners, you're good, I know."

"I'm getting B's."

I laughed at that, and kind of ruined the atmosphere, only Bella would be the pretty, sexy, hot, charming girl, and yet smart and worrisome about B's. "How many B's?"

"Two. My latest home-works are B's."

I laughed louder at that, it wasn't even a test but she was tripping! The librarian walked towards us and shushed me. It was Bella's turn to giggle. "I'm done, anyway. I was doing advanced reading when you started distracting me. You can take me home now." She smiled and started packing up. _I don't think so, Missy. You have to pay for wanting to play._

"Bella." I groaned and pulled her down with a soft "Oof!" She ended up straddling me on the bench and she blushed at the position and tried to squirm away. I held her hips tighter, I liked this. "Stop." I whispered.

She sighed in resignation and put her arms around my shoulders and grinned when I ground her at my erection, "What an effect I have on you." She whispered in my ear_. Oh you don't know the half of it._

I turned my head to kiss on her on the skin in her neck that was close to my mouth and she froze at the contact, I continued kissing her neck and when she relaxed, I rolled my tongue around the spot I kissed. She gave out a small moan, so I continued. I rolled it and made sure the spot was moist and I blew at it, making Bella shiver once more, I latched my mouth on and started sucking the skin, she moaned my name and I was high. Only she made me high because of such a simple gesture. I stared at it and beamed, proud that I had once again left a mark on her. "You like that, don't you? Marking me?"

"Fuck yes." She dove and shoved her tongue inside my mouth and that made me craz-y. Our tongues battled for dominance, we were so into each other that I could feel her teeth. Bella's hands went to my hair and pulled, it was almost painful but the pleasure was a hundred fold. My hands immediately went up her waist, and into her tank top, slowly caressing the skin of her waist. She took a breath and I grabbed her up. I pushed her back into the wall of books but guarded the back of her head with my hands, her hands circled my neck and my other hand went to the back pocket of her jeans. I lowered my mouth to her collarbone and kissed, and blew and sucked and marked her as mine. "Oh, Edwa-ard." She groaned.

"Edward, Bella?" We broke apart at the painfully familiar voice.

"What are you two... I can't even... am I the only one who doesn't know... how can you even... what is this?"

"Uhm..." I stared at Bella who was staring back at me. This was the third time we let ourselves into our physical needs, did it mean anything? Trying to be safe, I started to answer.

"Actually, we're dat-"

"Got carried away. Edward was talking about something and we got carried away." Bella cut me in and rushed off. Was she opposed to dating me? I stared at her but she stared down.

"Like I believe that? Am I the only one who doesn't know?"

"You're the only one who knows."

"I'm telling them."

"No, _Alice,_ you're not."

"Yes, Edward. I am." With that she stomped away, leaving us in confusion and probably guilt.

A potato chip hit my nose and brought me out of my thought. "Who threw that?"

"I did, what're you thinking of?"

"Us. What we were doing in the Library, and Alice catching us." I grinned, tossing a smirk at Alice.

"Oh my gosh, gross! Please don't remind me. Guys, remember that?" She shrieked turning towards the others.

"Disgustingly humorous! What were they doing again?" Rosalie piped in, clearly enjoying Bella's embarrassment.

"Sucking face, moaning, exchanging saliva, swapping spit, getting it on like bunnies, against books of knowledge! Eww!" Alice made a fake barfing noise and everyone laughed at her.

"Oh yeah, Al? Do they know about the time when I caught you and Jasper on the st-" before I could finish the word, she had jumped up and covered my mouth with her hands. I licked it and she jumped away.

"Stairs, having sex." I finished and was met with the full bag of potato chips on my head, courtesy of Jasper. Everyone laughed at them though, not me. (I think.) So it was worth it. (Maybe.)

I placed my hand on hers before she left the car.

"Bella, wait. We need to talk..."

She looked down and sighed, "I know."

"Why won't you go out with me, like on a real date?"

"You've never asked."

"You always give signs that you wont want to."

"I don't."

"So, why not?"

She gave me a look, as if she was calculating me, as if she was looking for something, and then she frowned and stared away. "It's complicated." She finished.

"I still want to know."

"It will take us hours."

"I still want to know."

"Not now."

"When?"

"When you do take me out on a date, I'll tell you. Then you decide if you still want to date me, or do these with me, or basically having me in your life."

"I'll always want to... So you're saying yes?"

"You didn't ask."

"You didn't answer." She laughed at our straight conversation and grinned at me, back to normal, "I'm saying yes."

"Friday- for dinner. Straight after school?"

"Friday." She agreed.

Then she walked out my Volvo and left me with anticipation for Friday. Friday. Friday. I felt like driving around Washington and screaming my joy for the world to hear. I'm dating Bella Swan!

"I made her cum, twice!" Mike Newton bragged, hitting his locker with his towel, and all the guys gave each other high fives. Emmett and I just entered the locker room, and suddenly silence erupted. "Banged who lately, Mikey?" Emmett asked, he was still on their good side. "No one." Mike murmured and I could see him fidgeting, trying to strike up a conversation with the boys around him, but they were all too distracted- probably still talking about Mike's latest conquest. "Bella. Mike was telling us he made Bella cum twice!" Tyler yelled, leaving the showers- apparently he thought the conversation was still on going and didn't see Mike, so he thought it was perfectly fine to blurt out whatever he heard. For once, I was grateful that Tyler was so tactless. I tried to shove my anger, rage, and irrationality aside, and settled for my macabre humour.

"When?" I coughed out loud. "Oh, Mike says it was last Wed- it was Wednesday, right, bro? Oh yeah, Ed, he said it was last Wednesday when Coach cancelled training. 'tioned Bella tutored him for Biology and then they just hooked up at his house." Connor told me conversationally, and I could see Mike's cheeks turn pink.

Wednesday? Wednesday? Wednesday was the fucking day Alice caught Bella and I. I was with Bella on fucking Wednesday. Emmett remembered this too, amen. "Wait, Edward, dude, wasn't that the day Alice caught you and Bella getting it off at the back of the library?" All eyes turned up to me and I turned my arrogance on, "Yeah, it was." Then I removed my shirt, just to painfully remind Mike that his four packs had nothing on my six packs, "But Mike doesn't know that. Does he, Mike?" I turned to him. He awkwardly got up, "Coach needs me." He stood up and tried to pass me, I grabbed his arm.

"Let me go, Cullen." He spat and shook his arm off, but my hold was strong.

"You stay the fuck away from my Bella. You don't look at her, you don't think of her, you don't touch her, don't touch yourself thinking of her, don't say her name, don't fantasize about her, and don't ever make some crap up that you were with Bella. She's mine. She's with me 90% of her time, so don't you think I won't know if you're saying bullshit. The remaining 10%, she's with Charlie. I don't think Chief Swan would let a little boy like you near his precious girl. Don't forget who you're messing with, Mike. I still own the eyes, and ears of the school. So stay fucking away from her."

"What's it to you, Cullen? You don't even love her. You're not even her boyfriend. You're just as bad as I am- worst, actually. Just in a different way." I pushed him against the lockers, now I was seething. He turned my temper on. "No Mike. We aren't the same. Bella's with me. She doesn't even hang with you. We actually do things, and I don't brag about her like a toy. I've finally found someone I actually feel for, while you're still using tits on legs for your own self gratification."

"Oh, so now you care about girls? When you didn't, you just passed up your used bitches to us!"

"You never complained! I never gave them to you, dickhead! You set your eyes on any girl I've had! It's not my fault I got them first!" Now we were both shouting and no one had come between us yet.

"I want Bella more than you do, so for once I'd try getting her before you do."

"No one can possibly feel anything close to what I feel for her," I shoved him deeper into the lockers and continued, "believe me when I say this, you are never getting that girl. Not over my dead, cold body. Not ever." Before he could retaliate, Emmett put a hand on his chest, stopping him.

"I'd listen to him, Mike. Edward's hardly serious about a girl and he sure as hell never cared, but now he cares, and he's possesive, and when he starts, ain't nothin's gonn' stop him." Emmett chuckled and waved goodbye at Mike, who would be in hiding- Coach wasn't even here.

I stared at the rest of the guys, "Anyone else wanna make a pass at Bella?" I said in a dark but calm voice. I was answered by a chorus of 'no', and random mention of their girlfriend's names. _Good. _

I saw her waiting for me at the Volvo. I immediately put my arms around hers and she covered her nose, "Ew, you're sweaty!" She laughed. "Mike told everyone in the team today that he made you orgasm last Wednesday."

"You know where I was last Wednesday, Edward." She replied quickly, as if that date meant something deep to her, "I know." And I pulled her in for a kiss. It wasn't all lust or hormones, it was quite decent actually. She was leaning against my car and I had my arms around her waist, it was very chaste but deep. I don't know how she does it, but with Bella everything was possible. I heard catcalls and whistles and turned my head and saw the team and other people staring at us, I particularly looked at Mike glaring at us. When he saw me, I winked and continued making out with my girl.

"Sorry for making you wait. Weren't you originally the one who hated my car rides? Now, you're stuck in school while I sweat it out." I touched her cheek, so soft... "It was fine, I hung out with Kate."

"So you're saying you two are like the supportive girlfriends now? 'Thought you didn't want to date me?" I teased her, "I don't know yet. You'll know on Friday." She sang that last word out. "Besides, Edward, your Volvo really, really loves me."

"I can see you really, really love it too. Glad to know we're still up for tomorrow's date, then. Or are you gonna stand me up?"

"Already trying to get rid of me, Edward? Sadly, I'm not that easy to let go of."

"Good, you're quite the catch."

And once more, we kissed, allowing the world to see that this girl owned me. And I had all the intention to make her mine.

**AN! Is it just me or is fanfiction dying? Either, a) Twilight fanfiction is dead, b) my writing sucks it's not even funny anymore, or c) my readers really don't review. Which one is it guys? :/**


	7. Eat Up The Long Wait

Destruction

Chapter 8- Eat Up The Long Wait

The date with Bella went well.

If i was being honest with myself, everything with Bella went well, perfect even. I took her out for dinner every Friday night after school, then she would sleep at home (in Alice's bedroom of course) and on Saturday mornings, she went out with the girls, or we all went out as a group. We found the balance in our life. Academically, we were doing well. Socially, we were doing well, too. I knew every little thing about Bella, and she knew everything about me.

But we were still just friends.

"Bella, we've been going out for weeks now..." I mumbled as I twirled her hair in my lap.

"And it has been glorious," she hummed. "I want to meet your Father, Bella."

There it was again! She shot up and stared at me. "Meet him for what? We're just friends. You don't need to meet my dad, Edward."

"But you know my parents."

"Alice."

"Bella, stop lying to yourself. We are more than friends. Why are you so resistant, Bella? Why?"

Then I saw the vulnerability in her eyes, I heard the deep intake of her breath. She was finally crumbling to my demand, to my only demand. She was finally going to tell me why. This conversation has long been due. "Will you finally tell me today, _bien-aime_?"

"Yes. But first, we need to get comfortable. This is gonna be one long conversation." I gently pushed her off my lap and grabbed two cokes and a box of Kleenex Tissue (just in-case one of us got teary eyed.)

"You do think of everything." She grinned as she put her head down my lap again and I leaned my head on my headboard. "What can I say? I`m perfect."

"Cocky ass."

"It turns you on." She giggled at that and cleared her throat, ready to begin with the explanation to our frequent fights and ready to answer my raging question and ready to give into my only demand, and ready to give me a side of her I've been begging for.

"My mom and dad... they met each other when mom was fourteen, and dad was fifteen. They both went into single-gender private schools, and had a very good lifestyle. Before a party, my mom saw my dad's Yearbook photo, she got obsessed and cut it and placed it in her wallet, naming it "My future husband", so when this party happened, both of them attended. Renee left her wallet, and coincidentally, Charlie was the one who picked it up. He went thought it looking for an I.D and instead, saw his picture with hearts all over it. A common friend took him to Renee's house, and from then on, they were together."

Bella stopped talking because I was gently laughing, imagining myself opening up some girl's wallet to find out this girl was already wishing matrimony on both of us. I urged her to continue.

"Then Charlie started attending College, and Renee was still finishing her last year in University. Their relationship started becoming rocky. Charlie got into a Fraternity, and they broke up every month. Mom had mentioned that whenever they would break up, Charlie went back to this girl in his school named Lorrie. The only constant girls in his life were my mom and Lorrie. When mom started going to a different University, it was the wake up call for Charlie. He cleaned up his act because he was scared to lose mom to some frat guy, since they went to different schools.

One night, they had a major fight again in my grandmother's house, and mom couldn't take it anymore, she asked him why he kept on cheating on her, and he said because he has needs. And after more than 5 years of being together, she still hasnt been 'gracious enough to open legs', instead of spurring on anger, my mom became depressed and then they had sex. She finally allowed Charlie to have it, although she's been protecting it because she thought it would keep Charlie to herself.

She got knocked up that faithful night and became pregnant with me. Although it seems that back then Renee was the cautious one, the decent one, and Charlie was a cheating asshole, the day Renee found out she was pregnant, was the day their personalities changed. Charlie sobered up, realising that his own selfish needs caused Renee to be pregnant and him to be a father at such a young age. Neither family understood them and both of them were shunned out from their homes. Charlie had to give up his Economics degree to find a job to support Renee and the unborned me, and Renee dropped out of her first year in College because it was a Catholic College and pregnant students weren't allowed. Besides, no one would pay for her anymore. Charlie made enough just to keep a roof above their heads and food in their stomachs. Charlie married Renee, thinking it would bring back the spark, although it didn't. It only put a ball and chain to their feet.

The experience made Renee careless. She thought that all those years guarding her life had gone to waste, so what was the point protecting any of it now, right? She was already knocked up, married to a man who cheated on her and forced her for sex, neither of them was in touch with their families and neither of them were studying. She hated it. She hated it when Charlie came home and hated it when she was alone. A week after she had me, she hated herself too. She couldn't bear raising me half-heartedly. That night, she told Charlie she still had a lot of growing up to do, she told him she was going to try and win back her parent's trust, and that she loves me very much.

They kept in touch, emailing and talking on the phone. When I was five, my mom came back for me. She had finally finished a roughly four year course at the Community College in Arizona- because it was the only thing her parents were willing to give her. She said she wanted to be a mother to me and she has already studied, and would get a better paying job than Charlie. She also told him it was to give him time for himself. As much as he didn't want me to go, he knew he needed to do a little bit of soul searching, too. Charlie attended more classes to be a better Police Officer, slowly climbed up ranks, and took on Fishing as a hobby. Whenever there was any sort of break or holiday, Renee, myself, and Charlie spent it together at either one of my grandparents houses. May it be my mom's parent's house in Arizona where she went home to, or my dad's parent's house in Seattle. Never in Forks, because mom hated it's memories.

Now, mom is married to a guy nearly half her age, and Charlie is still just Charlie. Can you imagine that years ago, they were so inlove? And they were together for so long, but it got fucked up the moment College rolled in? I can't do that, Edward. Any kind of separation will risk that happening to me. That's why, no relationships, equals to no heartbreaks. Just, no."

I hugged Bella to my chest and allowed her to cry freely. She shouldnt be punished for her parent's mistakes. I shouldn't be deprived of the girl I love for a mistake. Bella wasn't even a mistake, she was a blessing.

"Bella, if I may?" I whispered, wanting her to hear me out, too. She nodded.

"I also want to take the easy way out of life. You avoid love, so you dont experience the pain of it. But you string me on, so you can experience the benefits of it"- pain etched her features when I said that, but she didn't protest-"I use my status, my popularity, so I can get things without working hard for them. We're just the same. But, Bella... I go through girls because I've always believed that something as magical as true love, won't fall down on us. It has to be work. I go through, hoping that one of them will be the one for me. I don't drink or smoke for attention, I do it but not often like rumours say I do. I do it for celebration or a distraction. I've started quitting smoking anyway, don't want to kiss you with the stench of it. I got a silly Greek tattoo for self-expression, not because I'm some druggie or bad guy. I love my family, I love my friends, I love my sports and my music. I'm starting to change to be better, for you. I'm not doing it on purpose, I just realised that it's happening.

I don't ask girls out anymore, because I need you to know it's only you. You make me feel so powerful, so brand-new, so loved, every single day. You make me feel like... like.. like, when a stupid blond doesn't know how to do Maths, and she gets the answer right all on her own... you make me feel victorious. Like you're the best thing that's graced this planet, and I have a shot at you, but I don't want the shiny feeling to go away. I'm trying to keep you here, Bella. I want you permanently. You're the one I've been looking for, bien-aime. I study hard now, because you're so smart. I want to have what you'll have... go to an Ivy League University with you, be with you. I'm working harder in Sports now, because I want to be better than all those guys lined up to date you. Sports is one thing we'll compete in, and I need the consistency of my wins. I need something to throw in their faces, say I'm better plus I have her. I don't bitch out on others anymore, I've rid myself of that high horse. I realised, what other people think of me, doesn't really matter. All that matters is what you think because I'm trying to be better for you- not them. If I need something, I do the right thing to get it. My family loves you, you've brought me closer to them, to home, and out of my bubble.

Everything, it's always a Bella thing. I want you to trust me, hopefully you will in your own time. I'm not forcing anything. I won't. But I want you to leave an open window for me, because Bella... I just feel so much for you. Please know that. Besides, everyone watches me in school. You know where I am 24/7, what I do... You own me in everyway a girl can possibly own a boy. I just... I love you to the moon and back, bien-aime."

"Love you, too." My eyes must've left my sockets. That was the first time she said those words back to me. I've been saying them for so long, but it was the first time she's said them back. I pulled her lips to mine and kissed her through her tears. I kissed her so hard she should've forgotten how to breathe.

"Say it again." I rasped, "Say it again, and again, and again."

"I love you, love you, love you, love you, I love you!"

"Fucking beautiful." I wanted to cry at the sound of those words leaving her lips and entering my ears. I stared at her, and saw the glow in her eyes. I wanted to call her mine then and there, and my heart sank. This didn't mean anything, though. "Bella... if you're ready to be my girlfriend, tell me. I won't ask you everyday. Just tell me, okay?"

She nodded her head and pulled me close to her body. She kissed me with a fervour that only I ever gave. "Is your bedroom door locked?" She breathed.

"Yes."

"Where are your parents, and the others?"

"Esme accompanied Carlisle to a Hospital Function. They'll be back late. I don't know where the others are." I was shocked I said it all in one breath, "Bella... we don't have to do anything..."

"Oh but Edward, yes we do. Just not that. I'm not ready. But we do need some sort of... celebration..."

Fuck me. In one second, I pulled both of us out of my bed and went down on Bella. I swiftly removed her socks, fingered my way up her bare legs, swiftly removed her belt and unbuttoned and unzipped her jean shorts. The sight I saw was beautiful. She was wearing dark blue lacey boy shorts, and I caught a scent of her. "Aren't we turned on?" I teased her and she blushed madly. I slowly pulled her tank top off her body and stared at her matching bra, which pulled both her breasts together, forming such a pretty cleavage. Pretty? I was speechless.

"Maisie and Marie."

"Who the fuck are Maisie and Marie?" Bella almost yelled, crossing her arms, increasing her cleavage.

"Your boobs. This is Maisie, and this is Marie." I said as I palmed her bra clad breasts. They're gorgeous. She didn't answer me, instead she pulled my shirt off my shirt, unbuckled, unbutton and unzipped my khakis, pulling them down swiftly. "Do I get to name him, too?" Bella asked under her lashes, and I was curious as to who, but suddenly she cupped my penis. "Auwgh." I groaned an unintelligible noise. "This will be Mike." I crossed my eyes at her, "I'm joking. This will be Mac. Let's go with the M's." I pulled her closer to me, tired of talking, I kissed her.

She immediately pushed her tongue inside my mouth and our teeth clacked and our tongues delved so deep into each other, and I finally experienced literally sucking someone's face off, and the closer I pulled Bella to me, the crazier I felt because my hard on was pushing on her lower stomach, so close to that part Mac really wanted to be in... not now, Edward!

She came up for breath and my lips sucked her ear in, to her jaw, to her neck to her collarbones, and down her breasts. I pulled her bra off, and sucked on Maisie, while my other hand was treading Marie. "Oh god, Edward. Oh god, auuugh." I switched places, enjoying the cannibalistic sounds my girl was giving me. Although I knew we wont be having sex, imagining sex with her, it would be heaven on earth. I pushed her back on the bed.

"You're gorgeous, Bella Swan" she moaned and I kissed her hard. I kissed her neck down to her collarbone where I kissed and sucked, marking her as mine. I continued south- kissing down between her tits, kissing her on her tits, kissing her stomach and tracing her belly button with my tongue and I blew on it, then she shivered. I could already smell the heavenly smell of her arousal and her panties were soaking wet. I knew her scent was now etched onto my bed, and this time it was more than her shampoo. I buried my face between her legs, smelling her, only the panties in the way- "You will be mine someday to tongue fuck, too." I whispered in front of her panties and she groaned and arched her back.

"Please Edward," Bella begged and bucked her hips once again. I smirked and ran my finger up her slit. Once again she bucked her hips and loudly moaned my name. I opened her folds with my fingers and kept my lips on hers. If she let my lips go, I'm sure they would head down to her wet pussy in no time, and once that happened, I'd be thrusting my cock in her. And we can't. No sex yet.

"More."

Bella was on the edge of her orgasm, I entered two more fingers, bent them and pounded into her and suddenly I released my hand and a string of colorful profanities left her mouth along with my name. "Fucking hell, you're turn."

"No. Baby, today is about you. Let's keep it about you first, okay?" She frowned, but I could see she was okay with it. We lay down on the bed and I gave her my shirt for her to wear.

"So, anyway... about meeting your father?"

"Sure Edward, you can meet him this Monday. Wear a bulletproof vest, don't tell him what we do, say you're asking for his blessing, be angelic even. And we should cross out you getting shot." I gulped at her and she just giggled, I switched our positioning. We were now facing each other and kissing.

I don't know how or when, but sleep claimed us in that position.

**AN! No matter how bad the reviews are on this particular story of mine, the late update has been because Ive been thinking whether or not I should update. Then I realised, I write because I want to and love my Characters, not to be praised, criticised or ignored. So here's Chapter 8!**


	8. Conversations

Destruction

Chapter 9- Conversations

At around 2 am, Alice's voice woke me up and before I could snap at my sister for ruining my sleep, I realized Bella was still sleeping in my arms. Although I was in a sleep-induced haze, I was awake enough to know it would not look good if my parents had caught Bella sleeping with me. I let Alice usher Bella out, assuming she'd take Bella to her own room.

I let myself fall back on my bed with a soft thud.

"Good morning, Chief." Charlie shook my hand firmly at the door and he nodded towards the chair. Bella arrived from the kitchen with juice for the three of us and she calmly took the shotgun Charlie had on the coffee table and hung it up on the wall. Charlie gave her a hard look and she waved him off, "That's unnecessary today, dad." He gave a huff in response.

"So… you and my daughter?" He asked, calmly rubbing the revolver attached on his waist. He gave Bella a smug look when she gasped, realizing he had another weapon for Edward-destruction. I tried to hide the gulp that was dying to come out.

"No, sir. I haven't asked your daughter to be my girlfriend, yet. I believe our parent's approval is important." His eyes stopped looking at Bella and flashed to look at me.

"And do you do this to all your girls?"

"Bella's actually the first girl I'm interested in making my officially dating, sir." Bella choked on her juice and she excused herself.

"Well, Bella's choosy. In addition, I'm surprised she's even giving you a second glance. As much as I'd like to keep her to myself, I wasn't born yesterday. I don't want her to do things behind my back, so I will agree. I trust your parents, and I trust you to be a good kid, too. However, I won't hesitate to use my guns on _your guns_. If you know what I mean?"

"Absolutely, sir." Although I really wanted to choke at the implications of his message, I remained composed.

"No touching in front of me. No flirting in front of me. Basically, don't remind me you're together."

"Of course, sir."

"You can go now."

"Thank you, sir."

"Call me Charlie." When Bella heard this dismissal she ran into my arms and pulled me out the door, before I could fully leave, I peeked inside the house again.

"Thank you, Charlie."

Bella quickly drag me out of the room and we made our way to my parent's home. "Mom… Dad!"

Carlisle's head peeked out from the door leading to the garden and he signaled us to follow him.

"Mom.. Dad, I want to ask something from both of you…"

They stared at me and Bella's intertwined hands, and Esme quickly pulled Bella to sit beside her, separating us. "Yes, dear? What is it?" She asked me, but she was grinning from ear to ear and bouncing in front of Bella- so this is where Alice inherited her bounciness… "We were actually going to ask for you and Carlisle's approval…" Bella whispered, looking at my mom.

"Approval for what?" My dad asked me.

"I want to ask Bella to be my girlfriend, dad."

"Oh, good heavens! Yes, yes, yes!" My mom quickly went into babbling things like family vacations, no more fifth wheels, a new daughter-in-law, more beautiful grand children, brown haired babies, ties with the Chief of Police- and before it became too embarrassing, Carlisle cut in, recovering enough to put on his dad-mask. Carlisle was a man of good words, and he had so many responsibilities that as growing up, Alice and I named his roles and categorized them into masks. He had a doctor-mask, a dad-mask, a dear-mask, and a determined-mask.

"Okay, son. This is a shocker, and it sure is a first. But you and Bella are old enough to know how you feel. We're certain she's special enough for you to actually want to date, and we already love Bella- even without her connection romantically to you… but we aren't blind or naïve, and we understand you engage in activities… Charlie is a silent man, and I want to give this talk…" My mouth fell open and I could feel something warm crawling at my cheeks. Bella looked down and I couldn't see her reaction for she let her mahogany hair fall over as a mask.

I got over the embarrassment and glared at my dad. "Now, Bella you should start taking the pill- my son is no sain-"

Mom cut dad off by fucking _giggling_, "Hush now, Carlisle. Like you said, they're old, they know what to do. Be happy Edward is finally serious over a girl. Just make sure it's love, okay dears?"

"Yes mom." And, "Yes, Esme."

"It doesn't matter anyway, the grandchildren will be adorable!"

"Esme!" Carlisle hissed and his wife sauntered off the garden and back into the house. He gave us one stern look and nodded, "I'm happy for you, too." Before he disappeared inside the house as well.

"I'm so sorry!" Bella and I said at the same time. We chuckled but I let her talk first. "My dad was so difficult."

"He was a normal dad. You are his only girl, after all. My parents were so embarrassing."

"They were normal parents. You're the first son, after all." Bella grinned, repeating my words.

Weeks passed and she hasn't told me yet whether she wanted to be my girlfriend, or not. She hasn't done anything more than giving me blowjobs or handjobs, and the physical sacrifice, I could take. I couldn't take not knowing where we stood. Especially if we've already met the family of each other, gone on uncountable dates, had a stable routine, was happy, had spontaneity and I already confirmed my love for her. I don't know what to do anymore.

"I don't know man." It was the first time I went out with the guys for a very long time. I chugged at my beer and rested my head on Jasper's couch. "I'm being stringed on. What I did to all those girls, she's unconsciously doing to me."

"There you go, Edward… it's unconscious. She's so guarded, and you know why, besides dude… Charlie himself told you how shocking it is she's even giving you the time of day."

"That's it, Jazz. All I get is time. Fucking time." I groaned and attempted to open another bottle of Carlsberg. Emmett forcibly pulled out the bottle from my hands- I don't know why. It's not like I would get drunk, anyway. This shit was girl's stuff- and gave my his earphones. He told me to chill first and that things will turn out better. My sorrows were drowned in AC/DC instead.

I met Alice and Bella at Starbucks in Port Angeles the next day for coffee. Bella met me with a slap. "How could you! How could you get drunk over… over this!"

I glared at her, and felt all my pent up emotions suddenly flare up. "Over what, Bella? Over you just toying with me? Over what? You are my everything, Isabella! I have given you all that I have, all that I can. I have been changing everything bad about myself. I am yours emotionally, physically and mentally, Bella! This is not a small deal. And you're asking me how could I get drunk over_, this?_"

"I could just allow you to play with me. I've played with so many girls. I could just ignore the burning ache in my fucking heart, I ignored all my whore's feelings, anyway. I could allow you to just settle my dick, just like I let my bitches settle my needs. I could just get sex from my sluts, because you won't sleep with me. I could've avoided meeting your dad- since I didn't end up being your boyfriend anyway, Bella! I don't have commitment to you, but with no complaints, with no questions, I've submitted myself to you- because I fucking love you, Isabella. It's been months! I don't need a yes. All I need is an answer; a yes, a no. Not a maybe, not a 'two months from now' and not a 'let me wait and see'. I fucking need you, and if after all this shit, I still don't get you- I'm okay. But Bella, I'm begging you, I need a damn answer." My voice quieted to something almost as soft as a whisper, and I realized our location.

The Starbucks patrons were staring at us and I immediately stalked out of the shop, if she wanted to talk, she can find me. I patted my pockets in dire need of a smoke and I realized I stopped smoking because I didn't want to gross her away with my horrid breath. Suddenly, I missed my cigarettes… They could totally calm me down right now. I tugged at my hair out of frustration and was suddenly shocked to realize that my face was wet with tears. I was crying, and I never cry. I must really be in love with her. Sucks that it's one sided. I remembered the mental note I left for cupid, reminding him to fix his aim, and I cursed him to hell and back when he decided that it'd be fun to just hit me with his fucking love arrow. I idly wondered if he was really shooting arrows of love or an unneeded dose of pain.

I leaned against my Volvo and saw Bella and Alice walk out of the shop. "I settled things with the manager, I'll leave you two alone now." Alice kissed my cheek and gave Bella a stern look.

"Edward, I`m sorry." Bella whispered and hugged me. My arms were limp at my side, and I felt moisture seep in through my clothes.

"I'm so, so, sorry, Edward. I love you so much."

"Then why do you do this to me, Bella?"

"I just… I've put you in a pedestal. I'm so scared of repeating history. I haven't gone through anything tough in my life, nothing painful or heart-wrenching. I believe that everyone is dealt with the equal amount of happiness and heartache. I've never been so unhappy, and suddenly I become happy with you. I'm scared that God will balance things out by taking away my happiness, so I keep my life at a constant moderation only. If I finally let myself be with you, I don't doubt that I'll be on cloud nine, and to stay in the balance, God will take you away from me, or something important. I'm so scared to be hurt, repeat history, or be abandoned again. I'm just so scared. I thought you were perfect, Edward. I didn't think I'd ever hurt you, I was selfish enough to forget that you, too, felt. I'm so sorry Edward. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I let my insecurities and beliefs get the better of me, get the better of us. Please, I don't want to lose you."

My arms wrapped around my love and allowed her and my tears to fall on each other. I couldn't tell her anything. What was I to say? 'It's okay, Bella, I understand'? 'I will always be waiting for you'? in the middle of my internal battle with myself, her voice whispered, "I want to be your girlfriend."

"No, Bella. Not like this." She sighed and realized my point. I didn't want her to regret it, or decide it under pressure. "Isabella, I'm not going anywhere. I do feel, but I haven't felt perfection like this. It's always with you. Even my pain seems perfect, and as cliché or unbelievable or as immature as this sounds, I'm not going anywhere." I kissed her forehead and allowed the tears to continually salt ourselves.

That night, Bella and Alice accompanied Rosalie to a fashion shoot. A week back, Alice had joined a designing contest, which she discovered while reading a magazine named Comsolitan or something like that, and chose Rosalie as her model. While Alice hadn't won the competition, Rosalie left a huge impression as a model. When this was actually announced, we were all afraid that Alice would freak and this would finally be the cause of the girl's tight friendship to break. Surprisingly, Alice had been a good sport and graciously accepted her loss, supporting Rosalie even more to continue modeling. Rosalie tried to hide her joy in the prospect, but we all read her. She wanted to do this, a lot. Even if it wasn't as bad as her desire to tweak cars, we knew her desire to be tweaked was nearly as strong. Tonight had been the trip to Seattle, and they would be back on Tuesday evening- 3 nights from now. I think it's also healthy that while Bella and I had let out our emotions, we get time and space to truly think things through.

"Hello?" I answered my phone and was surprised to hear Tanya sobbing on the other line. "What happened?"

"J-Jacob-bb, he ch-cheated on me with L-L-Leahhhh!" Tanya wailed in between sobs. "I'll come over with alcohol, and tissue." I whispered to her, knowing her depression fix. I called Jasper and Emmett to accompany me but both passed claiming they weren't ever close to Tanya anyway. Her mom quickly let me in and thanked me in advance for consoling her daughter. I hugged Tanya's form on the roof and told her things will be okay.

"How did you catch them, maybe it was a misunderstanding?"

"Jacob had her pinned against his rabbit, and his hands were under her skirt… I watched them for 5 mintues for I was frozen in shock. I slapped him when he claimed that it wasn't what it looked like, then I slapped her."

"Have you slept with him?"

"Yes."

"Oh God, Tanya…" I allowed her to cry some more as she downed more whisky. It was surreal but if you told me 5 months ago, that I'd be comforting two girls at one day, I would've laughed at you and tripped you, claiming your fly is down. So much has changed. "I really thought you guys were in love, Tanya."

"I thought so, too…" This brought on another round of tears and I wondered why I couldn't just shut up. "Why didn't you call anyone else?"

"I have no real girlfriends, Edward. The girls are in Seattle. As for guys, you know as well that you're the closest. James is in College, there's no way to contact him. Irina is also in College. I'll call my sister about this tomorrow. I needed a quick hug, and that was you."

We stayed on the roof for another hour and I wondered why I never saw the good in Tanya. I mentally slapped myself for even considering her when I still had Bella to worry about. _Tanya would open her legs for you_, my cock argued. _Tanya is capable of loving and dating and being a girlfriend_, my mind whispered. _Bella isn't Tanya_, I heard my heart reply. _Exactly_, the devil in me tempted, _it's just one night, Edward. Just a few hours. Bella doesn't really need to know_. _No,_ my heart shouted. _Yes!_ my anatomy and brain argued.

"Edward?"

"Yes, T?"

"Do you want me to settle that?" She whispered eyeing my erection. I eyed her, too. She was in a summer dress, it had a tube top, was white and she was barefoot. "Bella…" I groaned, troubled.

"…is in Seattle. I need comfort too."

"We can watch movies…"

"Or we can pretend this night doesn't happen…"

"Why don't we just not let it happen at all?"

Before she could reply, the thunder shook and rain poured on us quickly, we rushed to enter her room via the window and as I was flicking the water off my shirt, she jumped me! She fucking jumped me! I was going to push her away, I really was, but she rubbed herself to my hard on and I was a goner. My lips attached themselves on her neck and she pulled her tube down and her boobs sprang into life. Her boobs were a lot bigger than Bella's, and her tummy was just as toned. She wasn't wearing any underwear, and just like that, she was naked in front of me, just like so many times in the past. I sucked her breasts and she wrapped her arms around my neck, humping her clit against my jeans, moaning my name like her life depended on it. I pushed her against the wall and grabbed her thighs, "God, I need to get off so fucking bad, Tanya."

"Well, aren't you horny tonight, Edward?"

"I am so, so, turned on, yes."

She ripped my shirt open and I distinctly heard the buttons fly all over the room, she still rubbed herself against me while pressed against the wall, and I was carrying her by her thighs while my mouth was raping her breasts. I could feel my orgasm reaching me, and I could feel her reaching hers too. I forgot how amazing Tanya was in bed, and just getting off while wearing clothes, reminded me of her talent. "Jesus, fuck. My dick needs your sex."

"Fuck me now, then."

"Yes, yes I will."

My hands went down to her clit and I rubbed her with three fingers immediately. Tanya liked it rough and hard, my lips followed and I ate her pussy while she pulled my hair due to uncontrollable doses of pleasure. "Ugh- more, more, faster! Faster! Yes, lick my cunt up, ahh… Shit, fuck shit!"

I felt a sense of disgust and I pushed her away. "I-I can't Tanya. I can't do this. I have B-Bella."

"Edward Cullen. You step out once, and Ill tell Bella what we did."

I froze and stared at her. "You're heartbroken and I'm just starting to get a heart. We both know this is wrong. You're not thinking straight. I'm leaving."

"I- Im sorry Edward!"

"It's okay Tanya. This will be our secret. But when I leave your door, we're back to just friends."

I walked out of her door and told Alice of what happened, she'd know whether to tell Bella or not. I slept, guilt taking me to a dark oblivion.

My dreams or nightmares consumed me for the next three nights. That first night, I dreamt of this time I had sex with Tanya at the backseat of my car. We were going at it like rabbits when suddenly, I heard a hard thud and I got out of my car to see Bella and Jacob fucking against my Volvo's hood. Bella whispered in a sultry voice beside Jacob's ear, 'It's okay, Jake. Edward doesn't need to know. This will be our little secret.' To which Jacob replied, 'Bella, I'm not little at all.' I woke up with a start and after that night, my sleep has not been peaceful.

On the second night, I dreamt that I was walking out of the locker rooms after a baseball match and Tanya was waiting for me in her cheerleader uniform. She pulled my hair, and what at first felt amazing turned horrible. Her face slowly morphed. Her icy blue eyes turned to a wood hard mahogany brown, her height suddenly decreased a little, her long wavy strawberry blonde hair turned to long wavy chocolate hair, and her 'O' face of pleasure turned a wild, frenzied grin, with fangs. Bella was now in Tanya's place, and she screamed 'You bloody unfaithful fool!' before biting me.

On the last night, my dream was neither scary nor painful. It was devastating. The scene opened with me meeting the girls at the airport, and instead was met by a crying Rosalie and Alice, they were hugging Bella and saying 'Goodbye', 'What happened?' I asked and they all stared at me with cold eyes. 'Bella's leaving us.' And when I hugged Bella and apologized for cheating on her, she hugged me back. When I was about to look at her face, I saw Tanya instead, writhing in that white tube dress. When I turned, Bella was staring at me with wild, crying eyes, and she ran into the airport. I awoke with Bella's name on my lips.

Tonight, I will see Bella, Alice and Rosalie in the airport.

**AN! Sorry I`m loads late. ): Sorry even more that it's so short! ): 3****rd**** Secondary is just so difficult! Hope you guys support me and Destruction all the way! **


	9. Three C's

**Destruction**

Chapter 9- Confrontations, Consolations and Communication

"Fucking cunt." Rosalie muttered while throwing her carry-on at me. With swift reflexes, I caught the pink leather bag.

"What the hell is your problem Rosalie?"

"I don't have one. Maybe you do. That's fine; Tanya can settle it for you."

Ahh, so they know. So Alice decided to tell Bella and Rosalie herself. "Where's Bella?"

"She's fine. She's inside with Alice. I'm waiting at your car." Before I could go and focus on finding Alice and Bella, Rosalie murmured something about a useless Emmett. Well, it comforted me that one of the guys would get some form of chiding too. I hope. But knowing Rosalie, she'd just deprive him of sex.

Finally, after seemingly forever, I saw the two girls emerge out the revolving doors. I tried helping with the bags but both didn't even dare look me in the eyes. Bella was shrinking into Alice so before she even ran away screaming bloody murder to me, I stopped attempting to touch her or hold her. "Bella, can we talk when you're settled?"

"No."

"I have a lot of things to say… a lot of apologizing and explaining to do, Bella. Please." I was this close to begging, to falling on my knees, to _pleading. _

"No."

"Can I do anything to appease you? Bella, I need you to hear me, please?"

"No."

By now, we were already at my car and after she got in the backseat with Rosalie, Alice slammed the passenger seat and when I opened my mouth to talk to her, she gave me the finger. Looks like I messed up again. I always mess up. I don't know why I even bother trying, why I even bother caring.

I drove both girls home and got ready for Alice's verbal scolding. Surprisingly, it never came. She rubbed her temples and sighed heavily. I tried touching her, but she cringed away and it felt like a slap on my face. My little sister was never this cold, never this detached from me. She practically lived to get closer to me. I was losing Alice… When we reached home, Carlisle and Esme weren't home yet so we didn't have a little act of being happy siblings yet I didn't know if she'd tell our parents of my deeds anyway. She probably will. There's more disappointment for me.

"She knows."

"I figured Alice… How did you tell her?"

"I didn't. I showed her the message you sent me." Ahh… the message, I remember what I sent.

_Alice, I've fucked up greatly. Tanya called me, she caught Jacob fucking another girl, and she was really in love and she ran away crying and she was depressed and she called me for comfort and I told her I'd go with her with tissue and alcohol. I asked the guys to come, because I swear I wanted to comfort her only, nothing more. But she was there in this tiny dress and she was needy, and depressed, and oh my God, I haven't done anything with anyone since I met Bella, and I usually have a different lay each week, and It's just been so long and I was so depressed and needy too and Tanya was fucking willing, she jumped me and forced herself on me, and got a reaction, and I went down on her but I stopped. She told me if I didn't continue, she'd tell Bella, but I felt so bad and dirty. And I want to tell Bella, but I don't know if girls like honesty this straight. I don't know what to do. I don't want to lose her. Tanya means nothing. Bella, Bella, Bella is everything. _

"Then?"

"She broke, of course. Rosalie called Tanya, screamed at her, and Tanya somehow pacified Rosalie. Turns out, Tanya said the same story you did, how she forced it on you, and this pleased Bella a little bit. I tried protecting you bro, I really did. I told Bella, technically, you didn't cheat on her, since she wasn't even your girlfriend yet, and she took it the other way around. She said then that she's glad, or else you would've ended cheating on her. I told her it would've ended differently. I told her things always have a reason. She kept questioning your past, whether a person can really change so much. She was moping. I was all for comforting, but you know how Rosalie is. She didn't take Bella's drama well. She told Bella to quit being a hag, and actually do something about her feelings for you. She won't keep you, but doesn't tell you too if she wants to keep you or not? Rosalie told Bella you were a person, not a toy. And she told Bella, she's a grown up, no longer a child. They ended up fighting, and I'm just so stressed."

"I'm sorry Al." I didn't know what else to say.

"She'll talk to you. She will. Just, not yet." So I hugged my little sister, knowing that when all the girls pull away from me, and all the relationships fail, Alice will never leave my side.

So I waited for Bella. I've been increasingly good at that, waiting for her. But she never tried to talk to me. Whenever I'd try talking to her, she'd walk away from me. I went to their house, and Charlie told me to leave, but he told me in a nice way, so I'm guessing he didn't see me as such a cruel man. She requested for a change of classes. All her classes were now different from mine, and her classes would always end up in the farthest building from mine. She deleted me off her Facebook, and blocked me from her Twitter. She changed her cellphone number, and the Chief didn't allow me to talk to her via house number. Rosalie and Bella never talked anymore, but I was still very thankful that she sat with us. Alice, Bella and Jasper went out every day after school and I could see this taking a toll on Rosalie. She was losing Alice. So while I was prioritizing Bella, I accompanied Emmett and Rosalie out. While they would love being on dates alone, it still felt different if it was a friendly outing. And right now, Rosalie was hurting over losing a friend.

I'm not sure I also account for losing a friend. Tanya kept her distance from us, and the few times I caught her staring at me, she looked apologetic. I tried a nod and a small smile once to tell her I wasn't angry (although I was a little angry, but on both of us) but I don't know if she saw it. She started hanging out with other people, people I knew but not well enough, all I know is it was a good crowd. After all, Tanya would be leaving Forks High, might as well mingle and subtly leave a good memory of herself with other people. That was what she wanted.

So…Bella, Jasper and Alice were out.

And just like that, our hexagonal pack was down to a triangle.

Until one day, Alice was just out playing pool with us.

"So the little midget decides to play. Where's your damsel in distress Ally?" Rosalie snapped the moment Alice came over to our pool table with Jasper.

"She's been hanging often at La Push. What, don't give me confused looks, we haven't hung out for _weeks_."

"What bullshit are you feeding us with?" Rosalie was relentless. "Rose, that's enough cursing, please." Jasper murmured but gave Emmett a straight look. Emmett slowly brushed Rosalie's golden locks around her shoulders. "Baby, let's be nice to Alice. She looks like she has important things to say."

"After the Seattle trip, Bella's truck broke down. The battery died and she had it brought to the mechanic who restored it, which we all know is Jacob. He told her the truck needed to restarting daily to keep the battery alive since it was in critical state due to its age. That's the last proper conversation I had with her."

"But, why?" This time Emmett asked.

"Well, she took the truck to La Push. She'd tell Jasper and me that she needed a lift to La Push to view her Chevy. So for a week, we drove her there, and someone else'd drive her home. Jasper asked why the repair was taking so long, when it only needed a battery change, and Bella never answered us properly. I was getting suspicious and irritated, because after we drove her there, every single day, we didn't know where you three were anymore, so Jazzy and I have been having all these pretty dates…"

"Alice." I cut her off, she was getting dreamy eyed and distracted.

"Sorry. So anyway, after that first week, Bella started hanging out with Jasper and me. So it was all cool. Then yesterday, I asked her where her truck was. And she snapped at me, telling me I didn't have to lie. She knew Jasper and I was tired of her ass, and didn't want to give her lifts anymore. It was totally not that, I swear. We didn't mind, but we wished we just had an update on Bella's life. She stomped away from us, and today, when we came to fetch her from her house, the cruiser wasn't there, and Bella was gone too. She was at school, so Charlie must've driven her. We were shocked to see her at lunch, and she talked to us as if last night never happened. But, after school, Bella was already gone. I asked Jessica, since they're in last period together, and Jessica said she took off with some tall and dark man."

"Something's wrong with her." Rosalie murmured and I gave her a glare, to which she just shrugged her shoulders. I silently prayed to God that Bella was safe.

After that day, for one whole week, Bella Swan never showed up for school. And no one in my group of friends bothered checking in on her. While Alice wanted to, Jasper stopped her. He loved Bella, but he loved Alice more, and he didn't want Alice to feel the rudeness of Bella anymore. Rosalie didn't want to, so Emmett didn't want to. I would try, if only I knew I had a shot. But when the weekend rolled in, I decided. I'd go and see her. Five weeks without Bella was too much. Hell, a day without Bella was too much.

I called her house, hoping she'd talk to me but since no one answered, not even the Chief, I figured two things. Either, she was home, or they weren't. Either way, Charlie wouldn't be there to shoot me. I took this a sign to go and pay her a visit. I asked Emmett and Jasper for reinforcement, but they refused just because of their girlfriends. I swear, they were so whipped they were useless friends. I wanted to play around and ask for their man card but I bit my tongue, remembering I was on a mission to confront my girl? (Was she even still my girl? Was she ever really my girl?) They tried telling me to give her more time and space, but oh my God, she has so much space, and the time I gave her was so much already. I was starting to think it was doing more damaging than fixing. It was damaging more. Sometimes, absence makes the heart grow fonder, or it clears your head. But with Bella, I was terrified that she rolled with 'out of sight, out of mind'.

For my mistakes with Tanya, I was terrified to remember, but forbidden to forget. It was a constant fault in my head, whenever I remembered it, my heart ached and disgust with my own self flooded my stomach, yet if I pretend as if it never occurred, well then I'd be digging my own grave.

I'd do anything to win her back; maybe she had a thing for Lloyd Dobler. I'd pretend to be Chuck Norris, hell I'd try everything just to get her to talk to me, just allow me to explain, and if my explanation isn't enough and she really wants me out of her life, I'd do that I'd leave her. If she _really _wants that. God, I hope she doesn't want that.

Her front door was unlocked and I entered, mentally scolding Bella for being so careless. She was on her bed, asleep. There was a bottle of Jack Daniels on the floor, empty. I shook her and she didn't wake up. I went downstairs and got her aspirin and water and some candy. "Bella, Bella…" I shook her harder and her blood-shot eyes opened.

"Edward."

"We need to talk. What's happened?"

"Edward." Her voice took on a harder tone, like a parent when they're about to scold their child.

"Bella, please, let's talk about things. You and I aren't fine. Can we talk?"

So fast that I didn't even see it coming, she threw the covers and stood up. She was in nothing but her underwear and an oversized shirt, and her messy hair, if not for the situation; I would've found her very, very sexy. She slapped me across the cheeks twice and started screaming.

"Fuck you, Edward. Fuck You!" I listened to Bella's tears and screams, remembering everything; that untimely night while she was in Seattle, the weeks of silence, the weeks of her avoidance, me not trying hard enough, finding distraction in Rosalie and Emmett, her heart breaking, my heart breaking. I could see her remembering things while I did. I could see the chronology-taking place in both our heads.

"We never should've done this; we never should've started this. Were different, were different." She cried and sobbed and I could physically see the heartbreak on her face, I pulled her tight against my chest despite her protests. I never once regretted pursuing Bella, she has taught me so much, she has given me so much, and I have given her something too. We've worked hard for our relationship- if you can call it that- and despite the problems, I've never regretted anything. Each tiny step brought me new understanding, taught me how to love, and taught me how to take care of feelings of another person. Each of my stupid mistakes taught me something chidings won't teach me and everything with Bella whether good or bad, just really lead to a greater bigger picture.

"Hush, love. I don't regret anything- each mistake, each decision, each fuck up still brought me closer to you." She remained silent and at that time, I just really needed her to hear me out.

"Bella Swan, I'm in love with you. And this feeling won't go away any time soon."

She whipped her head and frantically looked me in my eyes, panicking over what I said. I was confused women were confusing. Didn't girls usually love assurance that they're loved? Her frantic gaze turned guilty, and solemn. She was shutting me out, again. I was just about to explain everything, apologize for everything when she abruptly cut me off.

"Edward, there's something wrong, I might be pregnant."

But, _how?_

**AN! Which apologizing style is your favourite? Uh-oh! Who's the dad? I'd honestly love someone to go Lloyd Dobler on me, Hahaha. **


	10. Unveiled

**Destruction**

Chapter 11 - Unveiled

I flicked through the channels monotonously, boredom getting the better of me. My fingers itched to pick up my phone, scan through my list of contacts, and pick a girl for the evening. I even contemplated giving Leah a booty call just because I missed her tight little ass. With temptation getting the better of me, and my thumb hovering dangerously over the little button that would seal my fate. I let out a frustrated groan, threw my phone at my foot, and threw my arm against my eyes.

Fuck, I was better than that. I'm a changed person.

I couldn't just get with another girl. Not anymore. Isabella Swan. She absolutely ruined me for anyone else. As much as I hated her at this very second, I couldn't feel love for anyone else but her, too. As much as I was disgusted with the fact that the girl I loved was fucked by another guy, and had his child growing in her, I couldn't see any other girl.

The revelation wasn't anything I expected, actually. If I were being honest with myself; I felt sad, angry and upset. But none of those feelings were directed at Bella. I was sad at the turn of events, and wish more than anything that they didn't have to happen to the girl I love. I was angry at the man who dared to lay his fingers on her skin. Lastly, I was upset at myself. Surely, there really wasn't anything I could do to stop it from happening and God knows I dedicated all my time and attention to Bella. But it still happened and as much as both of us wish it would go away, it wouldn't. As much as I wish the_ thing _didn't occur, it did. As much as she hated how it happened, and who it happened with and when it happened, Bella was pregnant. She now had a cord with this baby growing inside her. Not just the physical umbilical cord tying mother to child, but the psychological and emotional chord, too. Bella couldn't deny it to me, and she especially couldn't deny it to herself. She loved this baby. As much as I hated this whole fuckfest, I loved her, and I had promised her that I would not leave her. I even promised her that I would help her raise the kid.

As much as it was the worst thing that could happen to me, I had to accept it and still love her for it.

Just like I said before, falling in love changes people. I mentally thanked cupid for hitting the girl with the arrow, too. But I couldn't help but feel a tad bit upset at destiny and fate. Sure, they made sure Emmett and Jasper experience reforms after meeting the girls, but they didn't throw something as screwed up as teen pregnancy to their faces. Compared to my situation, they got off easy. Granted, I fooled around longer so maybe that's why my sentence is worse_; like being on parole for nine months. _

Bella_ is _pregnant.

She had cried to me that night when we were just about to work out our differences. She told me that she was possibly pregnant since she missed her usually regular period, she's been having morning sickness and lastly, she had sex with one other guy.

I was incensed. She couldn't date me, couldn't answer me, but goes around fucking another man? She should've just come clean and told me! I think the fury in my eyes that evening had been tangible, for I remember seeing a very frightened Bella. She cringed at each step I took towards her and winced at each movement I did. I was heartbroken to see that she'd think so little of me- as if I could hurt her! Even if my jealousy and anger clouded over my senses, I couldn't find it within myself to judge her. The girl did everything to break me, and yet I couldn't find a single iota in my being that wanted to break her.

"Who?"

"I can't tell you that."

Like hell she couldn't! Seriously! I had wanted to strangle the girl to death, and at the same time grovel at her knees, beg her to tell me it's all a lie, plead with her to feel the same way for me.

"Why?"

"I didn't mean for it to happen. I also didn't want it to happen," That infuriated me even more. It was the hackneyed line of 'it's not what it looks like' and I would bet my entire life savings that she'd be close to saying shit like 'it's not you it's- "Besides, Edward. It's not you—it's me," _There you go._

"Please. Please stop talking in circles. Just tell me all the gritty details. Tell me everything and then, and then we'll talk."

"Take a seat," she had gestured off-handedly to her bed and I had flopped down, feeling exhausted although we didn't really do anything taxing. I waited for her to continue, idly wondering whether or not I should prepare her with a box of Kleenex and a Mars bar. I decided against it and decided that I should currently be angry with her, not thinking of ways to make her feel any better. Seriously, screw this woman.

"The man. Well. I don't really like him, you see. But he's forced to be in my life and I learnt very early in my own life that nothing I did would make him go away. He's decent when he wants to be, but when he doesn't want to be decent, well he's really monstrous. I lost my virginity to him as a mistake and ever since I was fifteen, I haven't had sex with anyone but him. I always told him I'd end up pregnant some day. He promised me I wouldn't. He told me he wouldn't let that happen. I was disgusted with him, disgusted with myself."

Before she continued, I stopped her. "Were you raped, Bella?"

"No. Let me talk," she took a deep breath and carried on while I refrained to comment, "Anyway, that night when I was fifteen, he was drunk. He was drunk and really very horny. He coaxed me into giving him a blowjob, and took advantage of my innocent curiosity. He made me do a lot of things that were unfamiliar with me but since I wasn't hurt, I just went on and on and on. I knew what I was doing but when you're at it—you can't really stop, can you? Before I even realised, he was rolling on a condom and pushing into me. It was quick, it was painful, I cried when I bled and he passed out on me. A few more times it happened, and each time, he got more intense. I finally got the backbone to get over the fright and shock and felt my anger. Then he started blackmailing me. He told me he'd tell my mom I was a naughty little girl- seducing a married man to fuck her! He was good with words. I gave in, keeping the pristine image which I upheld."

Bella sniffled a little bit and my shock kept me in place. In another side of my mind, I knew my mouth was hanging open and yet I couldn't find the strength to close it back shut. I... I didn't expect this. Suddenly, I felt myself wishing more than anything that Bella would just tell me she had sex with someone else of her own accord. I wished that she would tell me anything else but this. For something this dark, surely hurt her. I would gladly swallow up any hurt, heartbreak and headache just so that she would be oblivious to pain of such magnitude. My knuckles whitened from the tension they felt.

"It stopped when I moved to Forks. Obviously. Because he's not here, you see. This, Forks, is my present. He belonged in my past."

"Belonged?" I question, fully suspicious of her past tense. I didn't want to think it but I already had a feeling where this conversation was headed.

"He visited me one night, Edward. I cried and told him I wanted to be left alone, I wanted a new start. I told him to go find another willing seventeen year old girl. He laughed at me, telling me only I possessed the thrill he was looking for. It wasn't really about the sex. It was about the thrill. Edward, he was pushing into me again, and right before he came, I thought of something and vomited on him. He pulled away, but I guess, well, it wasn't quick enough because here I am, seventeen and pregnant."

I made a gesture of moving towards her and touching her, to do anything to comfort her- anything at all. She shook her head and indicated that I should stay in place, so I did the next best thing. "What made you vomit and well, do you know why it was so thrilling?"

She had given me a wry little smile, and even in the darkness of the moment, she had the ability to look cute. "You always ask the right things." I waited for her to continue. "I thought of all those times you pushed yourself on me. You were always so grabby and forceful and desperate and yet I always craved your touch. He was manipulative and slow and gentle and I was disgusted. I thought of you, Edward. Then I saw him, and I felt all kinds of wrong, as if my body couldn't stomach thinking of you and not having you, not having you touch me. Actually, having anyone else _but_ you touch me. Literally not being able to stomach it, I puked. He jumped up and left. Without even physically being there—you saved me."

I couldn't help it, I pulled her to me and slowly kissed her cheeks, right at where the tears were falling, I waited for her to answer my second part of the question. "I know why it was thrilling for him."

"Why, Bella?"

"It's thrilling for Phil because I'm his step-daughter."

Those words locked me in place.

A week. It had been a week since I last saw Bella.

Suddenly, everything fell into place- the reason why she hinted on having a lot of skeletons in her closet, why she was always reluctant to talk about her mom. Now that I think about it, she would've been even more hesitant to talk about Phil, but I had never asked about him. I mean, I asked about her biological mom, I didn't even think of asking her about her relationship with her step-dad. So she had only ever tried denying me stories in relation to her mother. Suddenly, I saw the light and everything fell into place. The wrong place.

From my foot, my phone began ringing that special ringtone, 'Bella'.

* * *

**AN! I deeply apologise for the long wait. Will be updating a lot more now! I hope you folks are still here with me on this.**

**If you like smart conversations, witty people and a hellavu taste in music... a Brooding Edward, a life-changing Bella and the all too familiar setting of High School alleyways, lockers and classrooms, please check out 'Their Dichotomy". It's an angsty, drama, and romance-filled story about how one girl changes, confuses and pulls in Edward- the gorgeous enigma of Forks High. Yay. **

**Please check out my one-shot, 'My Little Alice', too! It's my first story with a non-Bedward pairing and I sincerely hope you'll all like it! **


	11. Maximum Limits

**Destruction**

Chapter Title: Maximum Limits 

Have you ever felt so peaceful? As if you were a tiny pebble along the beach, simply moving, no worries. The waves take you wherever they want to go, all you have to do is sit back, enjoy the warmth of the sun and cool breeze. Have you ever felt as though your life was simply based on the Hakuna Matata principle? Have you ever felt so peaceful?

Oh. Well, me neither.

I wanted to scream, to let it all go, to give up, and to lose control. I wanted to lock myself in a metal container and yell. Yell all my frustrations and feelings and just cleanse myself internally. The emotional rollercoaster that I didn't even want to get on took me up, down, left, right, and topsy-turvy. I wanted to hurl.

Yet, despite all this inner turmoil- despite the chaos brewing within me- I didn't have the permit to feel the pain. I had to be strong for Bella. I had to carry whatever burden I could carry on my shoulders because the girl I loved was dealt with a hand she couldn't handle. So, being the loving non-boyfriend I was, I wanted to help her. If possible, I wanted to swallow up all the obstacles and challenges she had to face and I would solve them without involving her. I just wanted her to be happy. But no matter how hard I try to keep her smiling, it's as if fate had this entire plan dedicated to making sure Bella eats, breathes, and smells misery.

Like Cindy Lauper's Time After Time and Snicket's Unfortunate Events, Bella just couldn't get a break.

As if finding out that she was currently facing a Teen Pregnancy, it wasn't enough.

She had to lose the baby, too.

I gripped the steering wheel tighter, earning a slight whimper from Alice. I looked at my sister apologetically, "Sorry, Al, I just can't help it," I murmured, attempting to assuage the tension in my voice.

"It's okay, Edward. I understand." It's true though. If anything, Alice always understood. Always. I pressed on the accelerator faster, willing myself to get to Bella soon. The phone call had been anything but helpful. All I could make out from her distorted crying was blood. Lots of blood. Her legs. Lots of blood down on her legs. I told her I'd be at her house under five minutes but she already informed me that Charlie had rushed her to the hospital, and that she was being overseen by Carlisle.

For a moment there, I was irritated with my father. He knew how much Bella meant to me. He knew how much Bella meant to all of us, and yet he couldn't even have the decency to inform us of her current state. I knew patient-doctor confidentiality and all, and I'm pretty sure dad had bigger fish to fry. I knew he had more pressing matters to attend to apart from giving his son a short phone call. _But still._

Finally, we arrived in Forks Hospital and before I could properly park my car, or even shut my engine off, Alice was out the door, running to her best friend. And I was following close behind.

"Are you family?" The nurse irritably asked Alice and I for the umpteenth time.

"No, but we h-" I tried reasoning out with the nurse before she very rudely cut me off.

"I'm sorry. Isabella Swan is restricted to Family Only visits. Why don't you take a seat out here, we'll let you know if anything happens."

"She's in the goddamn room! She's not undergoing surgery! Just let us see Bella!"

Alice was full out wailing by now, kind of resembling how she looked like when we were twelve and mom didn't allow her to go out with Aaron because he had HFMD. If the situation weren't so serious, I would've given a big hearty guffaw. Alice slumped down the ugly plastic chairs and put her head in her hands. I followed suit. Without seeing Bella, there really was no way to know what happened, how was she coping up, what did she need? I prayed for Chief Swan to leave her room and let us in but I knew that was unlikely. The Chief had nothing in this world to look out for, only his little girl. Surely, he wouldn't even miss a second of the time in which she needs him more than ever. Besides, she was just admitted in the room half an hour back, I don't think any father would be able to get up from their daughter's side so soon. I tried imagining the roles reversed.

I tried picturing Alice in that stretcher, bleeding. I pictured Alice with tubes connected to her body and crying. I wanted to cry at the very sight. I couldn't imagine any girl close to me undergoing so much pain. Surely, for Charlie it would feel terrible. After all, I was only imagining Alice, what more could Charlie feel. Bella was his daughter, not just his sister. I clutched Alice's hands tighter in mine and she gave me a questioning look.

"I will kill Jasper if he gets you pregnant, just so you know," I murmured to her, "I tried picturing you in this hospital. I tried putting you in Bella's shoes. I ca... I can't stand to see you like that Alice. Right now, I am crazy worried for that girl. I am so in love with her. But, if it had happened to you instead, Alice, I'd go mad."

"That has got to be the sweetest thing you've ever told me since my parents died. And I don't even remember those times much. Why didn't I record that?" She took out her iPhone before grinning mischievously, "Come on, say it again!"

I rolled my eyes at her antics. Here I was, expressing how concerned I was for her, and she was making jokes. I sat quietly, having nothing else to say to my sister. She pulled my chin up to her face.

"Edward, I'm sorry. It's just... Of all things, I was hoping could cheer me up, that certainly wasn't it? You've never been expressive with emotion, and tonight, you surprised me. I wanted to give as good as I got and shower you with the true words I want to say, but I don't want to scare you off, either. So, I settled for joking." She gave me a warm smile, so different from Alice's usual shit-eating grin, "Besides, you can't go mad because had the roles been reversed, you would be allowed in the room. Family and all."

I gave an indignant huff and crossed my arms over my chest, "I'd still kill any boy who gets you pregnant." She gave a tinkling laughter and rest her head on my shoulder.

Two hours and four people later, nobody was allowed to enter the room. Mom arrived shortly after Alice fell asleep, carrying food with her and a large thermos of hot drink. I haven't touched the food at all. Shortly after, Jasper arrived, effectively hearing my speech against him ever getting my sister pregnant. This resulted in Alice slapping my bicep playfully. She moved to sleep on his lap instead and I was a bit, just a tiny bit, insulted that she chose his lap over my shoulder. I didn't show it to anyone though. It would be gay to show jealousy, I mean Alice and Jasper have been dating for so long now, why would I only start getting possessive of my sister so late in the relationship? Just, no. No. NO.

Emmett arrived with Rosalie and when we told them of the situation, Rosalie got up and left. I looked at Emmett in question. "It's her story to tell, bro." I shrugged then.

What was really picking at my nerves was that dad refused to show himself to us. He told mom he had other patients to attend to, and it was an understandable reason. Yet, it just wasn't like him to completely ignore us. Granted, something like this never happened before (thank God for that), I still believed something entirely different was keeping my dad at bay.

Gently, the door creaked open. The corridor had been so quiet that it was no question as to why all our heads snapped up to the sound. Various levels of anxious eyes greeting that white offensive door.

"Sorry to keep you all out here. I heard the intense arguments with almost all the nurses, by the way. Bella hasn't been awake for long. She just woke up about an hour back. So you really didn't miss out on anything..."

I stood up, "Chief Swan, how's Bella? Can we see her?" I really had not time for pleasantries right now, and I couldn't even fathom why the Chief was making small talk with all of us.

"No, it's... Her condition isn't just physical, my boy. Technically, there's nothing wrong with all of you seeing her. But as of now, she's only willing to see one person."

My shoulders dropped, as I understood the implications of his statement. One person meant him. We wouldn't get to see her. The others could go home now, get a good night's sleep. I decided on the spot to stay until Bella was ready to see me, no matter how long it took.

"Now now, you didn't let me finish my statement before you went all Tarzan on me." He put a hand on my shoulder and Alice laughed, "Tarzan- is that correct?"

"No sir, people usually say ape-shit." My sister answered and I briefly wondered why her dad was learning modern lingo through Alice. No matter, I wanted to see Bella. The Chief must've felt my anxiety on my shoulders as he paid attention to me once more, his eyes crinkling in amusement.

"I know you want to see my daughter. I'm keeping you out here to see how long before you clock me. Now, I know you and Bella have no romantic ties, but I know that doesn't entirely mean that both of you only have platonic ties. I see no reason why you're so tensed up."

"I care about Bella deeply sir. We all do."

"But the rest of them don't seem ready to rip my arm out from its sockets, son."

"I'm sorry, sir." What else could I say? I_ did_ want to rip his constricting arm off the socket.

"I'm going to spare you the speech. I assure you, it will be infinitely worse than this. I assure you, your balls will shrink to nothing," At this, Emmett and Jasper cackled with laughter. I frowned; I didn't think a hospital was the best place to cackle with laughter. I wondered why my mom wasn't doing anything to defend me. But then again, I didn't have the cleanest track record when it came to dating. I frowned again, "You with me, son?"

"Yes, sir."

"Lastly, I have a gun and as Chief of this regrettably small town of Forks, Washington, I have all the right to use it. Let's not play good cop-bad cop, but if the time comes, I will use that gun on you Edward Cullen."

I'm not going to lie and say I was having an internal monologue on how much I hated the father of my non-girlfriend, or how his beer belly didn't scare me, because fact of the matter is, I was petrified.

"Come in." I blanched at that. _Come in_? As in, enter the room with him?

"But, I thought only one person?"

"Yes, Bella wants to, no, according to her words, she needs you."

I slowly entered the ward behind Chief Swan, wary of the sight that was sure to hurt me. Bella was on the bed, a small smile on her lips. There was an IV connected to her, but apart from that, everything else looked medically fine. Her eyes were bloodshot, as though she had been crying for hours on end. Her hair was a mess, and her skin looked paler than ever. Regardless, she still looked like the most beautiful girl in my world.

The Chief left the ward, mumbling something about grabbing coffee with the rest of the people, and I was left alone with Bella. I took the seat next to her bed and prepared myself for whatever was about to take place.

Nothing happened.

"So... Charlie said you needed me. Is there anything you need me to do for you? Anything you need me to get you?"

"Oh Edward, I didn't mean I needed you to tend to me. I just need you to be here, to be here with me." I gently reached out to the hair splayed across the pillow. I attempted to untangle the knots at the bottom of her long hair. "I missed you so much, Edward. I'm so sorry for everything."

I wanted to say something- anything. I wanted to assuage her negative feelings; I wanted to tell her how much I needed her too. But every time I tried to open my mouth and say something, my voice got stuck in my throat and I had nothing to say.

"It's okay if you don't want me anymore. I understand I'm broken. I rejected you repeatedly, and now you know why. I flaunted my friendship with people who knew you, because I wanted you to get the wrong impression. I wanted you to hurt just as much as you and Tanya had hurt me. Except, I was worse because what happened between you two wasn't intentional. I went out of my way to intentionally hurt you. Lastly, here I am again. I am here, if you would still have me."

I wanted to say many things; I wanted to tell her that I would always have her. I wanted to tell her that I still loved her, and nothing could make me change my mind. However, the selfish part of me, and the morbidly curious part of me won out. Instead, I went in for the kill. Taking advantage of the weakness and guilt eating up Bella, I asked her questions instead of comforting her.

"What do you mean I already know? I still don't know why you relentlessly rejected me."

"Oh. I thought you'd get it by now..."

"No, I don't."

"Can I tell you tomorrow? I've had enough crying for today." I wanted to shake her and tell her no. But the way she uttered that sentence just broke something inside me and once again, I gave in with a small '_okay_'.

I chose to address the other sentiments in her speech anyway. "About Jacob... Bella, it's okay. I was hurt, jealous, and curious, I felt so weak that I couldn't reach out to you, but if that was the outlet you needed, then it's okay," I took a deep breath as I continued on, "With Tanya, well, I do admit the temptation in there was strong. For a moment, she offered me what I was so used to- what I had missed. She offered me her body, something so ripe and easy for the taking. I wanted to take it, but then you had already changed me irrevocably. I knew it would not be fair to Tanya, I knew she was just hurting over Jacob cheating on her, and then I knew I couldn't hurt you like he had hurt her. So I said no. But when you continuously stayed away from me, I wondered if doing the right thing punished me instead of rewarded me. Had I taken Tanya, I wouldn't have cheated since we weren't together anyway, and then your anger would be warranted. But it was so frustrating since you weren't even with me, and I didn't do anything, but you were so angry," Her face took on a different emotion now; she looked pissed at the same time sorry. I stored it in my brain, that this combination was such an odd one. "As for me still wanting you, I do. I still love you, and I need you, but I can only be with you, if I truly know who that is. Bella, let me in. Tell me who you are."

"Tomorrow."

"Tomorrow," I repeated. And then Charlie entered the door.

**AN! Well, that's an unfortunate cliff-hanger. Don't you worry, there's water below to catch you and drift you along like that ****non-worrying**** pebble we initially talked about? It's not going to be a long wait!**

**Must read fics out there: Breaking News, The Vampire in the Basement, Ethan Church. I read these three all this week, and I have got to say they're amazing stories. True to their reputation! **

**Heh, and here's a shot of non-modesty. Please read my under-noticed story, too! Titled, 'Their Dichotomy'. **


End file.
